Steven: The Light of My Life
by A.Damaged.Rose
Summary: Rosalie and Emmett want to have children. When they enlist the help of an adoption agency, they are put in contact with Bella Swan. Bella is 17, pregnant, and all alone. But when Bella recognizes the Cullen's strange topaz eyes, nothing will be the same.
1. Sun of Destiny

**A/N: Hi. I decided to edit these chapters into a format that would be easily read. I sincerely apologize for the way they were before. I also can promise that no important content has been edited- just grammatical issues and a few words I was displeased with. Thanks!- February 5th, 2009**

**Chapter One****: Sun of Destiny**

**Rosalie Cullen P.O.V.**

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen?"

A short woman with red, curly hair glanced at us inquiringly. Emmett nodded beside me. She gazed at him, her mouth coming open a little. I huffed at her, my impatience getting the best of me.

"Yes, I'm Rosalie Cullen. This is my **husband, **Emmett." I purposely stressed the word husband. She was practically drooling over him, and she barely knew us! The nerve! She glanced down at her clip board,

"Alrighty. Well, follow me. Ms. Swan is in Room 483. She's waiting for you."

I sighed and Emmett, noticing my distress, grasped my hand tighter. "Come on, Rose. Let's go."

I stood up and walked down the corridor, pausing at Room 483. Behind the door, my destiny shined bright as the sun.

**Bella Swan P.O.V.**

I hummed nervously. This couple, Rosalie and Emmett Cullen, were in their early twenties. They were rather young to want to be parents. Then again, I was rather young to be pregnant. The door opened cautiously, and my destiny walked in, shining as bright as the sun.

**R. P.O.V.**

Bella Swan was pale. Her chestnut-brown hair waved down her back. Her deep brown eyes studied us with interest. She was only seventeen. She, too, glanced at my extremely sexy husband. But then her questioning gaze fell upon me as well. She ushered us inside and asked us to sit. The ruby couch was uncomfortably stiff, even to a vampire. I cringed internally at the word. Vampire. I hated it, hated it with a passion. Emmett cleared his throat,

"Awkward silence, anyone?"

Bella's cheeks blushed crimson. The venom pooled in my throat- she smelled of rich flowers. I shook my head, pushing the blood lust to the back of my mind. "Well," she began. Her voice was shaky, poor child, she looked faint.

"Well. I'm Isabella Swan. I liked to be called Bella, though."

I nodded, "Nice to meet you. I'm Rosalie. This is Emmett. We have been married for several years now, and we would desperately like to have children. That is why we're here." Bella's mouth opened in shock.

**B. P.O.V.**

Wow. Rosalie was blunt, to the point. I'm sure I looked like an idiot. This realization fell upon me and I blushed harder. I'm sure I was beet red by then. They really were attractive. Almost too attractive. Emmett was huge! The muscles strained his shirt, and his dark curls framed his white skin. Rosalie was drop-dead gorgeous. Her blonde hair was long and wavy, and she had a figure of a model. I was plain, short with brown hair and brown eyes. I felt small. I shook off my discomfort, "I did have a boyfriend, you know."

**R. P.O.V.**

Emmett stopped breathing. I gripped his shoulder. Then the girl blurted out, "I did have a boyfriend, you know." Actually, I did not now. What I expected, or assumed, I should say, was that this child, my future child, I thought to myself, was the unfortunate result of a one night stand, or some fling. Emmett, who was not very sensitive about certain things, opened his mouth to speak. "I didn't know. I thought-" But I cut him off there.

The child blushed again, "I know what you thought. I just thought you should know that you're wrong." I smiled encouragingly. She began again, to tell us her story, "My boyfriend, Steven-" she stopped then. Her lips caressed his name, but the moment she paused, her eyes filled with tears. Pity engulfed me, something must have happened to him. "My boyfriend's name was Steven. Steven Caligary. He was murdered shortly before I discovered I was pregnant."

Emmett froze, "I'm sorry."

I looked at him, "I'm sorry too, Bella." I couldn't imagine life without Emmett. "Why was he murdered? Did they catch the guy?"

She shook with emotion, "Steven was……different. Certain people……….disliked him for being with someone like me. So," Bella took a breath, "They killed him. I thought it was impossible. I didn't believe he could die. I thought he was invincible." She opened her purse and took out a tissue, dabbing her eyes furiously.

I reached out to her, "I'm so sorry. I won't bring him up again."

The child shrugged, "its fine. It's just, this has happened all so recently. I'm still in shock. Denial, you could call it." Emmett patted her awkwardly on the shoulder. I opened my mouth to tell our story. Why we were here, waiting, hoping for Bella to choose us. To choose us to be the adoptive parents of her future child. And that was when Bella gasped, sagged, and collapsed to the floor.

**B. P.O.V.**

I looked up when Emmett made contact with my shoulder. Their eyes burned into me. Golden. Just like **his **were. I knew those eyes from anywhere. They were vampires. I noticed Rosalie open her mouth to talk, and I let out the gasp I had been holding back, crumpled, and my world blackened to nothing.

**Em. P.O.V.**

I had just touched her on the shoulder, trying desperately to provide comfort, when she passed out right before my eyes. I turned to Rose, "Any ideas?"

She was staring wide-eyed at Bella. "What about the baby?" she hissed to me, "What if something's wrong?" Of course Rose would worry about the baby. I lifted Bella into a sitting position and scooped her into my arms.

"Come on, Rose," I said to her for the second time today, "We need to get her to a doctor."

**2 hours later**

**B. P.O.V.**

"Isabella? Isabella?" I opened my tired eyes as the memory of my fainting rushed back to my mind. Vampires! I guess I was frozen like that for a couple moments because the doctor before me started shaking me gently, "Isabella?"

I nodded, "I'm fine." Beside me, Rosalie Cullen tapped her high-heeled foot impatiently. Or nervously, I suppose. The doctor was tall, his pale, pale face alive with concern. His blond hair was short and trimmed. And then, holy crow! His eyes! Gold is back! The topaz color gazed at me with worry. He inspected my pulse, "I'm fine, really." I was protesting now.

His lips moved for a moment and then he turned back to me, "Well. I'm glad you're awake. Rosalie? Would you mind? I'm just going to examine Isabella for a moment."

Rosalie huffed, "Carlisle! She's a girl, I'm a girl. There is no way in hell I am leaving just yet. I can stay right here."

This doctor, Carlisle, apparently, sighed, "Rose."

I shrugged my shoulders, "Its fine. Honestly. She can stay." Rosalie smiled at me before smirking back at the doctor.

"Very well," he sighed. "I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen. You may call me Carlisle."

I gaped, "You're a Cullen, too?"

He smiled, "Yes. I am Rosalie's-"

Rosalie interrupted him, "Adoptive father."

He nodded at me, "Well, Isabella-"

This time I interrupted him, "Bella. Just Bella."

He chuckled, "Well, Bella. Everything is fine. The baby is fine, as well." Rosalie let out a sigh of relief and I made a mental note of her endearing concern for my baby. "Thank you," I breathed, my voice, too, relieved by the news.

"However, I am quite curious as to why you fainted in the first place," he looked very curious, indeed.

I blushed scarlet, "It's just-" Oh dear God, what do I say? "Low blood sugar," I began, hoping my lying skills had improved in the last few minutes, "I skipped breakfast this morning."

He raised a brow, "Hmmm. Well, Bella, please eat next time. In order to have a healthy pregnancy, both you and the baby must receive good nutrition." With that, he turned to the door, "It was nice to have met you, Bella."

I smiled, "You too, Carlisle."

**R. P.O.V.**

The baby was fine. This was the most important thing. I was so relieved, it wasn't even funny. However, Bella should know that she was a terrible liar. Low blood sugar, my ass. I wondered what the problem might really have been. Was she that nervous about choosing the right couple?

Bella turned to me, "Thanks for coming with me. Thanks for insisting on staying. I really appreciate it."

I smiled, "No problem." Then I frowned, "Bella. I probably don't have to tell you this, but you really are a horrible liar."

The now-familiar blush crept back up to her cheeks, "I know. I'm sorry. The truth is I was really nervous. My parents have been less than supportive of my choosing to follow through with the pregnancy, and my English Final is coming up."

I frowned some more. This lie, though more convincing than the one before it, was still far from the truth. I let it go, "I'm sure you're really stressed. I'm glad you're following through with the pregnancy, though." How dare they even think of telling this innocent-or not so innocent- child to get an abortion?

My rage at her parents consumed me whole. Just then, Jasper arrived at the door. "Rosalie? Emmett wants to know if he could come in now."

**B. P.O.V.**

Damn! This was a large coven. One of them arrived at the doorway. He was tall, his muscles couldn't quite compare to Emmett's, but they really were prominent under his navy blue shirt.

His golden hair shined, his topaz eyes burning into me. "Rosalie? Emmett wants to know if he could come in now." Then he waved at me, "Hi. I'm Jasper, Rosalie's brother." I

just nodded at him, "Bella. Bella Swan."

Suddenly, a short, pixie-like girl also arrived. "Jasper? I want to meet Bella, too!" she whined at him, her spiky black hair was cut short, matching her energetic personality. "Is that her?"

She ran right up to me and kissed my cheek, "Hi!" she squealed. "I'm Alice, Rose's sister. Jazz?"

He smiled, "Come on, Alice. You didn't have to scare her."

What? Scared? How could he possibly know that? "I'm not scared. It's nice to meet you Alice." She beamed at me while Jasper snorted at my lie about fear.

Rosalie appeared annoyed, "Okay. Now that Bella has met part of my wacky family, I think you should leave." She said this rather coldly.

"WAIT!" Alice shrieked, "Edward! Edward has to meet Bella!" I could only assume Edward was yet another brother. Well, not really brother. The family looked nothing alike so far. "Adoptive" brother was more likely. Vampires don't usually have such large groupings, so I was shocked into silence.

Rosalie seemed entirely averse to having me meet Edward. "Absolutely not!" she hissed, "Edward doesn't have to meet Bella."

Alice glared at her, "EDWARD!" Once again, an inhumanly beautiful stranger stood outside my door. This one, however, was sexy as hell. His unique bronze hair was curved into a messy disarray, one that seemed neither intentional, nor sloppy. His eyes were black, flat black. He was thirsty. I knew from Steven that I had tempting blood; I wondered how Edward would take it. His muscles were barely visible and looked small compared to Jaspers.

"What Alice?" he snapped at her, "I didn't have to meet her-"

Alice gasped, "Oh brother, dearest? Bella is right there. Yes, you did have to meet her." How on Earth did they know to call me Bella?

Edward frowned, still looking extremely hot, and stepped into the room. And then, quite suddenly, he froze. The blackness of his eyes burned with intensity, and he hands balled up into fists. Jasper hung outside the doorway, and suddenly he assumed Edward's position as well.

Alice grasped Edward's shoulder. "Bella, Edward. Edward, Bella. Okay, Edward, let's go." Her bouncy cheerfulness had faded: she seemed on edge now. Jasper had stopped breathing. Oh, no. I hadn't meant to cause them trouble. The trio headed for the hallway.

Rosalie glanced at me, her eyes still irritated, but her expression apologetic, "Sorry about that. My family is slightly eccentric." I smiled at her, but that façade crumbled quickly. Her eyes looked worried now, "Bella? Did I do something wrong? I really am sorry about them!"

I spoke up, "It's fine, really. I'm just a little tired from my fainting episode.

She chuckled, "Well. Hospitals seem to come naturally for you. Even Carlisle was impressed by your impossibly long record here."

I blushed, "I'm uncoordinated. Gym is torture."

Then Emmett stepped into the small room, "Hey, Bella. How are you? Hey, Rose."

I smiled at him, "I'm fine, thanks."

Rosalie smiled at him, too, "Come on, Em. We've never actually had the pleasure of a real interview. I suggest we do this. Here."

I gaped for a second before regaining my composure, "Sure. I guess that would be okay." But I already knew why Rosalie was here with Emmett. You see, they were safe vampires. Vampires who don't drink human blood, I could tell by their gem-like eyes. And vampires cannot have children.

_**Author's Note: This is my first fan fiction I wrote on my own! Constructive criticism is very much appreciated, however, go easy on me. I have been sick now for a while, so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up. Don't forget to check the story I am writing with my friend, Silver Eyes.**_


	2. Remembering Steven

**Chapter 2: Remembering Steven**

**R. P.O.V.**

Bella was giving me the strangest look. I'd have to ask Jasper to be sure, but I would have sworn it was pity. I stared at her, her disheveled brown curls, her brown eyes wide. "Well," I took an unnecessary breath and squeezed Emmett's hand tighter, "Emmett and I have always wanted children. We discussed it a lot before getting married, and after marriage it was one of the most-talked-about subjects for us. However, we discovered that we couldn't conceive a child. We were devastated; I wanted to be a mother with all of my heart. And then, Emmett told me about the decision to possibly adopt. I felt so foolish for not thinking of that before. I was ecstatic. We called and left over a hundred messages, I'd bet. Finally, we were put in contact with your adoption agency. They handed us many files, we read through all the profiles, and decided to leave a message with you. And Bella, believe me when I say this, having you select us for an interview is possibly the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me!"

Emmett smiled at her, "I feel the same as Rose. If children are important to her, then they're important to me too. I love Rose with all of my heart, and I would do anything for her. Plus, I would teach my kid to be just like me, and that would drive Rose crazy!" I hissed at Emmett; this was not the way to tell Bella we would make good parents.

However, Bella laughed out loud. "You guys are my favorite couple so far, I'll give you that."

I beamed at her, "So, what about you? What was your life like before you found out you were pregnant?"

**B. P.O.V.**

I frowned. "Well, I grew up in Forks, Washington. My parents divorced when I was four, and I stayed with my father in probably the rainiest place on earth!"

Rosalie snorted, "I know what you mean. I spent a few years in Forks, myself."

I smiled in understanding, "I had a pretty average upbringing. I got pretty decent grades, had a good amount of friends. I was a good kid, I guess."

Emmett laughed heartily, "You guess?"

I frowned deeper, "Well, I'm pretty sure that getting pregnant at seventeen pretty much takes me out of the running for child of the year. But, Steven and I never dreamed it was possible…"

**R. P.O.V.**

I was sporting a frown similar to Bella's. She was lost in thought. Why wouldn't it have been possible for her to get pregnant? She definitely was keeping something from us. "Bella, why wouldn't it have been possible?"

Bella flushed, the pink coloring spreading throughout her cheeks. "Oh, umm. Well. I guess we were so caught up in our romance, that it didn't seem possible for anything to come along to make us unhappy." I almost snorted again, that lie was worse than the one she told Carlisle. "Steven never found out, of course," she continued, the sobs wracking her body, "I never got a chance to tell him. But I'm not ready to be a mother on my own."

I patted her shoulder soothingly, "That's why we're here."

**4 hours later**

**B. P.O.V.**

Steven. Steven. Steven, Steven, Steven! I couldn't escape the memories. He was in my room, he was in my car, and he was there in that freaking hospital area! I loved him so much…Before Rosalie and Emmett had left, we exchanged numbers. I felt that they were the right couple. Then, at least, my baby would have some ties back to its father. Sobbing, I stomped up to my room, and pulled out the photo album. At last, I found the pictures. On the first page, his dirty blonde hair was sticking up, dripping with melted snow. His topaz eyes sparkled with happiness. Beside him, I was wet from head to toe, the blush deep on my cheeks, extremely inferior to his own bewildering beauty.

*****

"**Bella! Come on, please stop playing in the snow!****"**** Steven laughed to her, his hair was completely soaked. **

"**Oh, come on, Steven. Loosen up, enjoy eternity!****"**

**He froze, the growl building in his chest, ****"****Eternity, huh? Well, I am not allowing you to catch cold, especially if I have to deal with the guilt forever!****"**** He placed his hand over his no-longer-beating heart in a mock show of sincerity. **

**She giggled at him, ****"****Fine! I'll go inside. Come with me?****"**

**Steven smiled at Bella before scooping her up and racing to her bedroom window. ****"****Hot shower. I will not let you get hypothermia.****"**

**Bella pouted, and he chuckled. She walked over to her bathroom, accepting defeat. Right in front of her door, she paused. ****"****I love you.****"**

**He grew serious, ****"****I love you too.****"**

**After she was in the shower, he added in a tone so soft she couldn't hear, ****"****For eternity.****"**

*****

I sighed. Steven had surprised me with that picture for my seventeenth birthday. A week later, the pregnancy stick was coming up positive. A day later, Steven was dead.

*****

"**Oh no. Oh, oh, oh. NO!****"**** Bella mouthed furiously to herself. She was leaning against the cold counter of her bathroom. She was shaking from head to toe, staring at the little plus sign. Although she knew it wasn't possible, she felt it in her heart. She was carrying her beloved vampire's child.**

_**A DAY LATER**_

"**STEVEN!****"**

**Charlie comforted Bella, hugging his daughter's shaking form close to his heart. ****"****I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry.****"**

**She glared up at him, ****"****You're lying! He can't die. He just can't!****"**

**Charlie was almost in tears himself, the mystery of the boy's death frightened him. No body, none. And then the letter, the letter from Italy. The letter that proved his death and explained his disappearance. **

"**He can't be dead! He can't leave me. He can't leave us!****"**

**Charlie stared at Bella, ****"****What are you saying? You're..****"**** He gaped, ****"****You're pregnant?****"**

**Bella hung her head, the tears trickling down her face, which, for once, wasn't even flushed.**

*****

**R.P.O.V.**

"What was that?" I shrieked at my family. "Alice! You practically caused her heart to stop!" She cringed, but continued to smile. She knew something. I directed my anger to Jasper, "Jasper! What in God's name were you thinking?" He bowed his head, but sent a wave of calm towards me. "And I do not want to be calmed!" Edward was sulking, his eyes black. I glared at him, "And what was that, Edward? Did you want her to think you were mentally unstable?"

However, he was in such a bad mood that he growled at me, "Well, forgive me, Rosalie. I apologize if I ruined your little meet= and=greet at a hospital!" Then he hissed, "And would you be so kind, Alice, as to tell me what is going on **instead **of singing in Portuguese?!"

I groaned, "She hates us, obviously. She thought we were crazy."

At that, Edward pinched his nose with his forefinger, "I wouldn't know."

We all gasped and stared at him open-mouthed. Then I snorted, "Perfect Edward, unable to read someone's mind. How will he go on?" I said it, sarcasm poisoning each word. Then, I stomped upstairs with Emmett grinning behind me. I arrived at our bedroom. "Emmett," I moaned, "What if we lost our chance?"

He smiled, "Then I'll find us another one." Quite suddenly, my cell phone buzzed.

I fished it out of my pocket and checked caller I.D. 'Bella' flashed over and over on the screen.

**B.P.O.V.**

I let the memories overtake me for a moment. And then, I knew what I had to do. I opened my phone and scrolled down the list of numbers. Selecting Rosalie's, I hummed and waited impatiently.

**E.P.O.V. (I know, OMG!)**

The Swan Girl was fascinating. I couldn't hear her. At all! It was like there was no one there. Her blood was the most tempting thing I had ever come across. Had I known she was out there, I would have searched for her. Had I known. But, instead, she was thrown carelessly into my life. I couldn't harm her. Rosalie would surely kill me for it. But it was deeper than that; I didn't **want **to hurt her. The human in me wouldn't allow it. I didn't want to be a monster. None of us did. I shut my eyes as the image of me killing her, my eyes crimson as her blush, played over and over. And the monster in me was intrigued by it. He lived for it.

**A/N: So I thought I'd end with an Edward Point of View. I hope I wrote him okay. He's just so difficult! Anyway, I'm really doing my best with this story. I know this chapter isn't as long as the other one, but I promise a longer one next time. I really appreciate reviews and suggestions. If you have a criticism, feel free to share it. Just try to be easy on me, this is my first fan fiction that I'm writing by myself. Thanks for all who read this!**


	3. Phone Call

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's characters. These characters include: Rosalie, Emmett, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Edward, Carlisle, etc. I do, however, own Steven Caligary. He is all I have, unfortunately. **

**A/N: I know I promised a longer chapter and a longer chapter you've received because it is an absolute must that you read today's author's note. It is very important. ******

**Chapter 3: Phone Call**

**B. P.O.V.**

I waited for Rosalie to pick up her phone.

"Hello? Bella, is that you?"

I sighed in relief, "Yes. Hi, Rosalie." I started pacing nervously; what was I going to say to her? "Well. I have been thinking really hard since I got home, and I know I've only just met you and Emmett today, but I feel like this is the right decision."

**R. P.O.V.**

Emmett was grinning broadly at me and I was frozen with anticipation.

"Yes?"

She sighed on the other end before taking a breath and continuing her sentence. "Well, I want to congratulate you. I have selected you guys to be my adoptive couple."

This was it. What I wanted more than anything else in the world was being presented to me, just waiting for me to reach out and grab it. "Oh, Bella! You have no idea how much this means to me!"

She sounded as if she was smiling, "I think I do. That's why I chose you."

**The Next Day: Back at the Center**

**R.P.O.V.**

Bella chose us. She chose **us**! We were going to be parents. And all we needed now was to be able to sign the papers.

Bella hurried into Room 483, "I'm sorry I'm late. Math test to study for."

I glanced at Emmett, "Don't worry about it. You're here now."

She sat down on the leather seat, "Look, I know in my heart that I made the right choice."

I nodded at her impatiently, "Yes. I am so glad you chose us, Bella. Yesterday was possibly the best day of my life."

She grimaced, "However,"

No! What was she going to say? I panicked for a moment until she continued, "I do want to get to know you better. Just the basics. You know, where you're from, what your hobbies are. I want you to meet my father as well."

I breathed carefully, "You're right. Should we begin?"

**2 hours later**

**B. P.O.V.**

I was laughing now; Emmett had just told me the most ridiculous story about his brother, Edward. Apparently, Edward had done his famous I-Am-A-Sulking-Brooding-Brother act because Emmett had hidden Edward's precious Volvo in the woods. "Wow. Does he do that a lot?"

Emmett grinned, "Sulk? Perform the act? Hell, yes. He's doing it now, you should see him."

Rosalie even smiled, "He is most definitely doing it now."

**A. P.O.V.**

"Oh, Edward!" I bounced happily as Edward walked down the stairs, a very moody expression on his face.

"What?" he snapped at me, "What is it? Are you going to explain your Portuguese singing?"

I smirked, "No. I am, however, going to bring you out of your I-Am-A-Sulking-Brooding-Brother act."

He groaned, "Number 1: I am NOT sulking. Number 2: I will NOT go shopping with you. Number 3: STOP SINGING!"

Then he turned and walked up to his room, where he would continue to stay for the next six hours.

Sure. Sure he's not sulking.

*****

"**Edward?****"**** Bella turned to him, wearing a midnight blue evening gown, ****"****I love you.****"**

**Edward smiled crookedly, ****"****I love you, too.****"**** And then he leaned towards her, placing his mouth on hers.**

*****

Portuguese was fun.

**R. P.O.V.**

Bella laughed hysterically once again. "Emmett? Before Bella chokes to death, maybe you should stop the Edward stories. As much as I will enjoy his utter humiliation at Bella hearing them, I believe she should make it out alive."

Emmett smiled at me, "Sorry, Bella."

She wiped the tears of mirth from her eyes, "No problem, Emmett. I'm really glad we were able to have this talk. I really feel like I know you now. I even know Edward; what a bonus!" And then she and my ridiculous husband burst into laughter once more.

"Bella?" I began, quite exasperated at this point, "Didn't you want us to meet your father?"

Bella stopped her laughter for a moment, "Oh, yes. I was thinking you could come meet him later today, actually. I hope that's not too soon, because we could wait for a better time and-"

I cut her off quickly, "No, that's fine."

She looked nervous then, and I feared I had destroyed her newly-found comfort zone. "You could come by for dinner later, if you'd like." She added on the last part hastily, as if **she **wished we would change our minds.

"So then it's settled," I continued, "Can we come by at 7:00?"

She scuffed her heel, "Yes. Oh, and Rosalie?" I turned from the door, "Yes?" She paused, "Um, will you be very hungry?"

**B. P.O.V.**

The words slipped from my tongue, "Um, will you be very hungry?" Stupid, stupid Bella. Rosalie looked suspicious, then confused. I don't know why I said it, I knew they couldn't eat. Oh, brother.

"Well, I don't know. Why?"

I sighed and tried desperately to cover up my mistake, "Because I wasn't planning on cooking very much, but if you were going to be very hungry, I could change my plans."

Now she looked concerned, "Bella, you heard what the doctor said-you have to eat a healthy diet."

I hung my head; what was wrong with me? "You know what. Never mind. I'll see you later." She turned to the door once more. And then I realized something else, "Wait! Don't forget the directions." I handed them to her, and then they were gone. Tonight was going to be quite an evening.

**R. P.O.V. (I know, I am so sorry for switching P.O.V.'s so fast on you guys)**

"Emmett?"

My ridiculous husband was laughing, "Rosalie? Did you see her face?"

I sighed. Yes I had seen the confused look on Bella's face while she mentioned food. However, I did not find it nearly as funny as Emmett did. "Oh, Emmett. Could you take a break from being an idiot for one second?"

He stopped, "Rose, come on. You know it was hilarious."

Sighing again, I opened the door to my home. "That may be, but we have to get ready for dinner."

**Author's Note: I apologize for this chapter taking so long. It has been a busy couple days. There are a few things I want to let you guys know now about our favorite Twilight characters. Oh, and my precious Steven, of course.**

***Possible BD Spoilers***

I have done my best to avoid giving information away, but if you have not yet read Breaking Dawn, skip Bella Swan's Profile.

**Bella Swan: Ok, Bella is 17 and pregnant. She most definitely **_**is **_**carrying Steven's child. I received one review asking if my story would follow the route of Breaking Dawn's. I do not know this yet. My story is sort of writing itself as I go along. I merely type it all up. I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Bella is very upset over Steven's death. I will explain his passing more thoroughly in an upcoming chapter. She wants her child to have a connection to her lover (vampire), and she relatively likes Rosalie and Emmett. These are the reasons behind her choice to select them as the adoptive parents of her child. She DOES NOT have any romantic interests in Edward, whatsoever. She believes him to be attractive, but other than that, she could care less about him. Bella does not know much about him either; all she has learned about him has come from Emmett, who is not the most reliable source. Bella is far from over Steven. She still loves him very much and has not fully come to terms with his death.**

**Rosalie Cullen (Yes, she is a Cullen in my story): Rosalie genuinely likes Bella. However, she cares most about Bella's unborn child. She is ecstatic about Bella's choice, and sees nothing in the way of the destiny she has always dreamed of. She was very upset at her family's behavior at the hospital, and at Emmett's behavior during the interview. She was angry at anyone and anything that might come between her and her dream.**

**Emmett Cullen: Emmett loves Rosalie with all of his heart. He merely wants her to be happy. He was the one who suggested adoption in the first place. Emmett likes Bella **_**a lot. **_**He finds her to be a smart, funny, hilariously clumsy girl, and he loves her already (no, not romantically). Emmett likes Bella more than Rosalie for two main reasons.**

**1. Emmett is more open to different people, especially humans. Rosalie is a little skittish at times, brushing off anyone from beyond her inner circle (sometimes with good reason). Emmett is fine with meeting and accepting new people. This is a personality trait of his.**

**2. Rosalie sees Bella mostly for her unborn child. Emmett sees Bella as a real person, someone with feelings and beliefs. I am not saying Rosalie doesn't care about Bella, merely saying Emmett knows Bella better than Rosalie does because he is considering Bella, not **_**Pregnant **_**Bella.**

**Alice Cullen: Oh yes, Alice knows something big. Her vision with Edward and Bella is just the tip of the ice berg. Alice loves Bella dearly. She loves Bella's future relationship with Edward, and she loves her future niece or nephew, too (Alice had seen Bella's decision to make Rosalie and Emmett the adoptive parents). Alice doesn't know that Bella is pregnant with a vampire's child. She doesn't know exactly when or how Edward and Bella will get together, either. She is merely excited for the upcoming future. She is blocking Edward, and he knows nothing. **

**Jasper Hale: Poor Jazz, Alice is so excited all of the time. He doesn't know why. This is not because Alice doesn't trust him. It is because Alice is Alice. Jasper has nothing against Bella. He thinks she's fine. Her scent is hard on him, however, and it was incredibly hard in the hospital, when he picked up on what Edward was feeling. Edward is also causing Jasper to tumble into emotional overdrive. Edward is confused, angry, and lustful. It is almost too much for one vampire to take!**

**Edward Cullen: Ah, my glorious Edward. Edward **_**is **_**sulking, despite what he believes. He is so confused about Bella Swan. Edward stumbled across Bella's marvelous scent which, just like in Twilight, is his personal demon. He finds her intriguing. He is incredibly frustrated because he is unable to read her mind. He is also extremely attracted to her, and he has no idea how she feels about him. To add to all of his troubles, Alice has switched from Portuguese to Russian. He knows she knows something, but she won't tell him anything.**

**Steven Caligary: Ok, just to clear it up. Steven is most definitely dead. He will NOT be returning as a ghost, or will have somehow escaped his doom. He is dead. He loved Bella with all of his heart. He never learned of her pregnancy, because the Volturi got to him before she could tell him anything. *I promise to explain his death very shortly. **

**Okay, longest A.N. ever. Remember, I love to know what you guys think. ******


	4. Dinner With Charlie

**Disclaimer: No, Twilight and all of Stephenie Meyer's glorious characters do not belong to me. I own Steven Caligary, and my plot, but that is all.**

**A/N: And so, your longer chapter has arrived. This time, it REALLY is longer. Enjoy, read, and review.**

**Chapter 4: Dinner With Charlie**

**1 Week Before the Death of Steven Caligary**

**Steven P.O.V. **

The city of Volterra was beautiful. The cobblestone pathways were paved to perfection, and the townspeople roamed the city's well defined streets. Though my visit was bittersweet, I could enjoy the city's marvelous scenery. I headed for town, my glittering form enclosed in pale silk.

**After the Death of Steven Caligary**

_**Dinner**_

**R. P.O.V.**

Now I knew why Bella was uncomfortable with the idea of Emmett and me meeting her father. He was in the process of interrogating us, and it was a very torturous process indeed. "So, Rosalie, do you have a criminal record? I looked you up already, but since you recently moved…."

I sighed while Emmett choked on his laughter, "No, no. My record is clean."

Charlie Swan squinted his beady eyes at me as he chewed Bella's lasagna.

"Actually, Mr. Swan, I **do **have a record," Emmett began.

Bella's eyes widened and I hissed under my breath, "Emmett Cullen, you tell that story and I will personally rip you apart, and Alice can light the fire!"

My husband continued anyway, "Funny story. You see, my sister, Alice, is quite addicted to shopping. Jasper and I, her boyfriend, went to the mall with her to carry her bags."

Charlie glared at Emmett; it seemed he didn't find this story to be funny at all.

But, instead of heeding my warning glances, Emmett drove on, "So Jasper and I were covered in dresses and shirts, and Alice kept asking us 'Do you like the red or the blue?'" Bella looked down at her plate, nervous no doubt. "It was hilarious. So Alice decides to check out the Limited. She runs out ahead of us and me and Jasper follow. As soon as we step out of the store, the alarm starts going off like crazy. Because, guess what, Jasper has the red shirt draped over his shoulder, and the blue shirt is still in my hand. Priceless!"

**B. P.O.V.**

I tried. I really, truly did. I sent frantic signals to Emmett. But my efforts were futile, and I failed. Emmett continued to tell my father about his arrest. I glanced at my dad uneasily. His face was a deep, smoldering purple, and for a moment I feared that he wasn't breathing.

That was, until he spoke again, "I see. And Mr. Cullen, you believe having a criminal record is 'priceless'?"

I sighed heavily; I had never realized my dad could be like this. I supposed I was seeing Chief Swan instead of Dad, but still.

Emmett stopped, his eyes wide, "Of course not. I was merely pointing out the humor in the situation. It's what I do." He added that last part with suspicious amounts of innocence, especially for Emmett.

Rosalie snapped out of her I-Am-Going-To-Murder-You,-Emmett-Cullen phase, and answered quite quickly, "Oh, yes, Mr. Swan. You will have to excuse my husband. He tends to find humor in almost anything, it's genetic." At this I almost snorted into my milk. Genetic?

**1 Week Before the Death of Steven Caligary**

**S. P.O.V.**

The glorious midnight air breezed easily around my cloak, creating a small swishing sound as the silky fabric rubbed against its own fibers. I glanced up at the crescent moon and wondered what my Bella was doing. Probably murmuring in her sleep, her brown hair waving out randomly on her pillow, her full lips framing my name. The image struck me like a knife, twisting unbearably in my silent heart. The moon shined eerily tonight, and the streets were damp and lonely. Night could change a place, sometimes for the worst. I made the final step, the step that would put me directly in the path of moonlight, and three more figures roamed in the blackness. When they stepped into the light, I could easily make out their faces: Jane, Felix, and Demetri. All members of the Volturi's precious guard.

"Steven," Jane spat harshly, "Aro will be pleased to see you were able to arrive."

Felix grinned widely and Demetri loomed over me, his shadow almost as massive as he was.

I could feel the ice in my words, "Yes, indeed. Let's not keep him waiting, shall we?"

Her words were nothing but lies; when the Volturi invite you, you come. It is not up for debate.

She smirked at me, "Of course. After you."

And I led the way, the angular moon seemed to follow us, and images of my beloved Bella flashed through my head.

**After the Death of Steven Caligary**

_**Dinner**_

**R. P.O.V.**

He hated us. Charlie Swan was going to tell Bella to reconsider. As my "dear" husband chuckled at the violent shade of purple on the poor man's face, I almost cried aloud. Oh, Emmett. Bella patted her father's shoulder, encouraging him to calm down.

**1 Week Before the Death of Steven Caligary**

**S. P.O.V.**

The castle was quite entrancing. The same as it had been for centuries; its intriguing beauty pulled me towards it, as if a mystery lay between each paved brick. Of course, this probably was true. The last time I had seen Aro, I had pointedly refused to become a member of his guard. Aro wanted me for my interesting abilities. Although I held no unique power, I had been told that I owned a certain charm. The leader of the Volturi had wanted this charm to help him in the cases where vampires needed help negotiating. However, becoming a part of this-this nightmare, was not on my to-do list. Walking down the hallways, peering ahead at the dining hall, the decades from my last unsettling encounter peeled away, leaving behind a memory as fresh as yesterday. And then the trio appeared: dark brown-haired Aro and Marcus, and the wintry white-haired and bitter Caius.

"Ah, Steven. My friend, how pleasant it is to have you join us!" Aro rejoiced for a moment before holding out his arm in a gesture of welcome, "Follow me."

The panic was rising in my chest, stealthily choking me. What if they took Bella from me? The laws were the laws, and the moment Aro touched me, he would know everything. I bluntly refused to allow Bella to become a vampire. Eternity was too long for a spirit so free. She deserved a long life. A long **human **life. However, Aro would insist that I either lead her with me into forever, or kill her for her knowledge. And killing her, the one person in the world I loved, was unthinkable. They would take her from me. It was inevitable.

**Within the Walls of Aro's Private Room**

It frightened me. Aro's papery hand was held out, eagerly awaiting my touch so he could delve into my personal memories.

Read each one and savor each page of the book that was my mind. My firm grip met his flimsy skin, and his eyebrows crinkled in concentration.

And then, his smirk grew more pronounced, his expression looking quite amused.

I flinched instinctively, knowing he had reached the section of my life containing my ever-wonderful Bella. And he would soon steal her from me. I couldn't allow it. I pulled my hand back, breaking the unwanted connection. "Listen. Whatever it is I need to do to keep her safe. I'll do it. I promise."

And so Aro smiled at me, "Of course. However," he began, his chuckle threatening his calm façade, "I am quite interested in Bella. She must be a marvelous creature to behold, gaining the interest of one of our kind."

I snarled, "You will not touch her." Jane glared at me while Felix and Demetri assumed their combative stances.

Aro, however, laughed freely, "No, no. Of course not! You will change her, you say?"

I nodded, my teeth clenched. The sickest part of me was dying, knowing that this trade-Bella's mortality for secrecy-wasn't worth it. But they would kill her themselves, and I couldn't stop them.

And losing her, losing the one thing I had left, would tear me apart. So I considered my options, "Bella will not share our secret."

Aro's superior smile faded, "Of this you are confident. But our world, the safety of our world, cannot lie in the hands of confidence. So I am afraid that you must make a choice."

Marcus eyed the ceiling; his input was at his usual minimum.

But Caius seemed evil in his eagerness to join our conversation, "You are free to leave now. Finding the girl can be left to us."

I hissed, the low sound coming from the darkest part of my soul.

Aro looked extremely amused now, his head cocked to the side. "So, Steven. Will you make Bella a vampire?"

**After the Death of Steven Caligary**

**The Day Following Dinner With Charlie Swan**

**R. P.O.V.**

Once again I found myself pacing the wooden floors of our bedroom. Emmett was sitting on the blood red sheets of our bed, sighing. "Emmett?" I began again, "Bella hasn't called us yet. What if Charlie convinced her not to pick us?"

Emmett groaned at the mention of Bella, "Rose. Stop worrying. It's been a day. Give Bella more time."

I reluctantly nodded just as Alice flounced into the room. "Rosalie! I want to meet Bella again."

**B. P.O.V.**

"Bella," Charlie started for the thousandth time, "Bella, I don't think they're a good choice."

I groaned internally, "Well that's too bad. I think they're wonderful people and I have already chosen them."

His face got darker, but he didn't look angry; just agitated, "But Bells, did you see the size of that Emmett character? And he has a criminal record!"

Oh, brother. "Dad, Emmett explained that. It was an accident."

He shrugged my rebuttal away, simply responding, "Criminal record, Bells. Criminal!"

I threw my arm around his shoulders, "You just have to get to know them better. Rosalie was there at the hospital with me, so was Emmett. They were nothing but nice to me. Ever. And they are my final choice." I spoke with conviction; I was determined to choose them.

Charlie knew that voice; I gained my stubborn ways from him. He nodded wearily, "If you're sure."

I nodded and stood up, "I'm sure. Hey, you know what? I'm actually going to call them right now."

He smiled at me, "Okay, Bells."

**R. P.O.V.**

"Alice," I began slowly, "I don't think that's a good idea."

She pouted at me, "Rose! Please, Rosalie, please?" Her amber eyes grew large as she pleaded with me.

Emmett roared with laughter, "Oh, man! Rosalie, you're done for. Alice has unleashed the power of persuasion on you!"

Indeed, her wide eyes made it hard to refuse, and I sighed in defeat, "Fine. I will ask Bella if she wants to see you again. **If **she ever calls me, of course."

Alice leapt up in excitement, "Thank you, Rosalie! Oh, and by the way, Bella will be calling in 3...2…"

And just then, my phone buzzed.

"Hello?"

I was thrilled; Bella was calling! Maybe we didn't lose our chance after all. However, I braced myself for what might come next.

"Rosalie? Hi, it's me, Bella. I just wanted to apologize for not calling sooner. But you guys are still me choice, believe me. I had a long conversation with Charlie, and he knows he can't sway me on this."

I smiled at Emmett while his face broke out into the goofy grin I knew and loved, "Thanks Bella. And you have nothing to apologize for. Anyway, I am so glad that we are still your choice! Thank you so much, Bella."

I could practically see her smiling as well, "You were the obvious choice," she replied simply.

I beamed before remembering what Alice had said, "Thank you. Again. Bella? Do you remember Alice, my sister?"

She responded with a 'yes' and I continued, "Well, she wants to get to know you better and I-"

Just then, Alice started under her breath, "Ask her to go shopping! We'll have so much fun!" Even in a whisper, her squeals were ever so annoying.

"She wanted to go shopping, if that's okay. Alice is certifiably addicted to shopping, and she loves picking out clothes for people."

I heard a sharp intake of breath on the other line as Alice stuck her tongue out at me. I backtracked quickly, "I mean: you don't have to come. She was just hoping and-"

Bella cut me off this time, "No, no. I would love to get to know Alice better! I just…well, I hate shopping. But if that's what she really wants to do, then it is fine."

Bella was so understanding at times. Even Esme wouldn't willingly agree to a shopping trip with Alice.

The same Alice who was now bouncing up and down on **my **bed excitedly. "Thank you, Bella. She's so happy right now."

And that, apparently, was all that Alice could take. She grabbed the phone from my hand and squealed into it, "Great! I'll see you at the Ridge Pike Mall at 9:00 tomorrow!" (A/N: I actually don't know about the names of any malls, so I tried to choose a good name. Sorry if I just made you cringe at the horrible title for my pretend mall. ) I heard Bella protesting at the early hour, and Alice simply disregarding Bella's complaints with a, "Bella, Bella. Time is necessary for a shopping trip!"

And then, finally, Alice said, "See you soon!" **Alice**.

**A Day After Bella/Rosalie/Alice's Phone Call**

**Ridge Pike Mall (cringe, cringe)**

**B. P.O.V.**

It was 9:00. In the morning! I yawned as I sat in front of a large indoor tree, waiting for Alice and Rosalie. I hated to admit it, but I was quite scared of this shopping trip. Alice's way-too-cheerful demeanor was amplified when anyone even **mentioned** shopping. And I hated the mall to the extreme.

"Bella! I am so glad you could come! Oh my gosh! You are absolutely gorgeous! We just **have **to get you some blue. Reds would be nice too…" Alice babbled on and I stood, staring openmouthed.

Rosalie chuckled a little, "Give her space to breathe, Alice. Hi Bella, it's nice to see you."

I nodded at Rosalie and smiled tentatively at Alice, "So…Let's get this over with."

**A. P.O.V. (You know it's Alice, right?)**

I was deeply offended. 'Let's get this over with'? I'm sure my hurt was visible on my face, because Bella started murmuring her apologies. She was blushing insanely, of course. I sighed, "Come on, Bella, time for the Shopping Alice Experience." And with that, my happiness returned.

*****

"**Bella?****"**** Edward walked over to her as she sobbed. Her brown hair cascaded down her shoulders, hiding her tear-streaked face. ****"****Bella? Are you okay?****"**** He was holding his breath, trying his hardest not to flinch as the monster screamed in protest. **

**She sobbed harder, though, and tried to stop her tears. ****"****I'm sorry, Edward. You shouldn't have to see me crying like this. You must think I'm crazy.****"**** H**

**e sighed, and following his heart instead of his instinct, placed his arms around her. ****"****It's going to be all right.****"**

**And she buried her face in his chest as he murmured that to her over and over. **

**Until the salty water stopped and she had fallen asleep.**

*****

I squealed then. Another Edward and Bella moment! Ha, ha. Edward didn't even know. He didn't have the faintest idea and the Russian theme song I was singing in my head was starting to bother him immensely. I snapped out of it and grabbed Bella, "You stay right here. I am going to improve your closet." And with that, I raced around the store, creating a minor whirlwind as I snatched clothes off the shelves. And that was when I saw it. The dress. **The **dress. It was stunning, of course. It fell to the ground and the blue was deep. It was sleeveless and gorgeous and I grabbed it immediately. **The **dress.

(**A/N: I have actually managed to find a dress similar to what I had in mind. The link will be available on my profile shortly. Enjoy. This chapter is far from over.)**

**1 Week Before the Death of Steven Caligary**

**S.P.O.V. (who else?)**

I crumpled then; the knowledge striking me without mercy. And then, the pain; unlike any other before it, entered my mind. My lips mouthed the screams that shattered the silence. Agony was all I knew and I wanted to explode. Jane waved cockily and scrutinized me, directing the mental attack in my brain. It was sharp; keen as the blades of my vampire teeth, and it penetrated my dead heart. The pain was gone, then. As was my reason.

Aro waited for me to return to my feet. And I couldn't. Time was endless and silence meant nothing. I clawed at my brain with mental nails, trying desperately to regain balance. A melody played over and over, its infinite notes pulsing threw my veins. A piano. The keys were silent, but the music continued. I was on my feet again. Aro reached out his hand. The player of my insanity veered into a romantic piece, turning all my thoughts to Bella. I grabbed his pale skin and he listened.

**After the Death of Steven Caligary**

**The Day Following The Alice Shopping Experience**

**B.P.O.V.**

It hurt. That was my only thought as the sharp pain stabbed across my stomach. I stayed home from school that day, as I threw up repeatedly from my strange nausea. It was too early in my pregnancy to be suffering from Morning Sickness, and the pain concerned and confused me. I thought about calling Rosalie, but decided not to worry her. I would be better tomorrow. Right?

**A.P.O.V.**

"Jasper?"

He turned to me, his eyebrows raised, "Mmmm?"

And then it overtook me.

Strong and powerful, clear as day.

*****

**Bella was crying endlessly. She pulled back her shirt to reveal dark bruises along her stomach. Her **_**round **_**stomach. She ran to the bathroom, her hand over her mouth. And that was when the blood flowed from her lips. It didn****'****t stop; just kept pouring down her chin. And then Bella was silent. Infinitely. Her stomach was being torn, ripped from the inside. The red spilled out over ivory, staining her pale skin. **

*****

"No." That was what I whispered repeatedly to the darkness until Jasper shook me to my senses.

"Alice? Alice!?" He looked at me, his eyes wide with worry.

"Jasper," I said shakily, "Something is really wrong with Bella."

He just stared, "What do you mean?"

I knew he was anxious and I continued, "Get Rosalie."

At the same moment, Edward's endless roar pulled every one of us onto our feet.

He had seen.

**1 Week Before the Death of Steven Caligary**

**S.P.O.V.**

I was reunited with my sanity as Aro opened the door to my secrets. I knew my name. I knew hope. And I knew Bella, and why she must survive this. He let go, the corners of his mouth curving upwards. "Your mind is a fascinating place, my dear friend."

Caulis hissed impatiently, "Aro. He won't change her. She dies."

Aro waved his comment away before turning to me, his tone serious, "Will you, Steven? Will you change Bella?"

I hung my head. I was a failure. I whispered to the ground, "I will. I promise."

Aro's face broke out into a grin, "So it's settled then! You must come for a visit soon. Bring Bella!"

I nodded weakly, "Of course."

And so I stepped into the cold, silent streets once again. The promise hung on my shoulders heavily, but I would not change her right away. I would watch her from afar, and memorize her mortality.

It had been a week. I couldn't let Bella see me; for she would want to know everything. And I would be unable to keep it from her. She would be disappointed in the fact that I didn't want to change her. She would feel hurt. She didn't understand. And so I watched as she cried. As she cried tears; something she wouldn't be able to do ever again. I watched as she slept, murmuring my name with agonizing screams for me to return. And it cut me deeply.

**The Day of the Death of Steven Caligary**

"Steven. STEVEN! Please." Bella clawed at her pillow, clawing at my heart as well. I knew she would wake soon, so I stepped down lightly from the tree I was perched in.

And I ran far. I ran so far away that I imagined myself as a streak of never-ending light.

That was when I heard the voice that made me freeze.

"Steven." And I turned around to face Jane; her dimpled face gleaming with hatred.

"Where is Bella? Surely the transformation is complete by now. Are you so foolish as to leave her alone?" She mocked me, for she already knew that Bella was human. I was sure of this.

"Jane," I spat harshly, "She **will **be changed. Just give me some more time."

At this, Jane laughed cruelly. "You have had time, Steven. And now you must suffer for breaking the promises you have made."

I felt this coming; the end.

"Of course, you can be sure Bella will be taken care of as well. Now that you won't change her, she is merely a human that knows far too much. According to Aro, her blood is fine. She will satisfy my burning thirst."

She cackled at me and I felt the heat of my anger bubble up to my throat in a menacing growl. "YOU WILL NOT TOUCH HER!"

I roared at her. Jane laughed once again. "You have no authority over me. She will suffer for your arrogance," she hissed furiously and I saw red.

"YOU. WILL. NOT. TOUCH. HER!"

And then the pain grasped me, tearing me apart, limb by limb. And she hadn't touched me. In my mind's eye, I could see the endless walls of the castle in the desolate city of Volterra. In only my mind.

And it was like I was seeing two halves of my future, cracked down the middle. I was here, in a deserted forest with Jane. I was there, walking and walking to no end, eyeing the bricks with awe. And then the pain of her physical attack pushed me beyond death, beyond eternity.

My last thought was of Bella.

My last scream of her name echoed down the imaginary walls of the largest castle in Volterra.

I didn't know where I was. Who I was.

All I could hear was that echo, the one that traveled through the air; breaking my heart and piercing my soul.

**Author's Note: Okay. So, I am assuming that I will get reviews asking me if Steven is insane. The answer to that is yes and no. Because what you must understand, is that Steven loves Bella to the point of pain. He knows he is going to lose her, and he can't bear it. Thus, forcing his sanity to the edge. In the final scene (The one with Jane and the split future), Steven has crossed a line mentally. He is having a panic attack, and remembering the ****"****desolate****"**** city of Volterra. He remembers that place specifically because he sites it as the place he truly lost Bella. Unfortunately, the flash backs of Steven and his final days are definitely not his best hours. I promise to write a full-length chapter on Steven's emotions and exact thoughts during this time. This chapter will include how he feels about being a vampire, why he doesn't want to change Bella, and why he is different from Edward in many ways. I just don't want any opinions of Steven to fall when reading this chapter. Because what he did was not unforgiveable. I hope that my readers can still like (or, in my case, love) Steven. Even though he made some poor choices. I am actually holding back tears as I write this, because Steven's death is a painful blow for me, even though I wrote it. This is my longest chapter yet, and I am completing it at 2:49 A.M. because I won't be able to sleep if I don't finally finish. The other thing I wanted to mention is that Edward and Bella **_**will **_**meet very soon. Please review; I need to know what you think. Even if you think it's terrible. I am so nervous about this chapter, because it has been the hardest to write. Please, please, please review.**

**Rose **


	5. The Roar of Edward Cullen

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still not owning Twilight or any characters. Try again later. Or****…****never. Someone change the subject, please! This conversation is making me depressed.**

**A/N: Ahhhh! So it****'****s been a while since the last update. I have been terribly sick. But, I****'****m back! So, enjoy the next chapter. Some language, but I promise nothing that requires my moving the rating up to 'M'. Just in this chapter, so be warned.  
**

**Chapter 5: The Roar of Edward Cullen**

**E. P.O.V.**

The roar that escaped me was deafening, and I wished I could die. I wished I could end it all.

She….I had seen what Alice had envisioned. The red, blood red, had poured over Bella's skin, her mouth twisted in agony. And I couldn't bear it. I threw myself through a new window, shattering the glass, and ran. I ran, running, running, to escape my family's shock. To escape Rosalie's pain. To escape.

"Edward! Wait."

I turned. Behind me, Alice stood on the lawn, her eyes filled with remorse. "What." I snapped at her harshly. The torture pierced my voice, penetrating my throat.

"Edward," Alice repeated, firmly this time. "Go to her. See if you can stop it. Please." She begged me brokenly, and I looked away.

"Fine."

And then I was running again. Blood red. Like the color of sunset, spilling out over a pale canvas. The most beautiful picture in the world. And I would do anything to stop it.

**R. P.O.V.**

"Rosalie. Baby, c'mon."

I barely registered Emmett's frantic whispers. My baby, my baby dead. All of the images of my perfect future: Emmett and I, proudly walking the child to school. Playing with the baby, murmuring soft cooing noises into a precious ear. The pictures shattered, like the most delicate glass.

"Rosalie, talk to me. It's going to be okay."

Lies. It would not be okay. Not ever again. I wished for a way to let the tears wash over my cheeks. I wished for a way to release my sadness. Instead, I barely felt anything, numb to it all. And that scared me.

**B. P.O.V.**

*****

"**Steven?****"**** Behind her, Steven crouched low, preparing to- ****"****STEVEN! You better not be about to pounce on me, because if you are****…****.****"**** Bella****'****s voice trailed off menacingly. He chuckled, standing again.**

"**Sorry.****"**

**She studied his playful expression, ****"****You****'****re not,****"**** she declared, laughing.**

**Steven laughed with her, ****"****No,****"**** he admitted sheepishly. Bella smirked at him, before he flashing her a smile.**

**"Alright. You****'****re forgiven.****"**

**He beamed, ****"****I thought so.****"**** Then Steven sighed. ****"****Bella?****"**** he glanced at her wistfully, ****"****I love you.****"**

**She looked at him, ****"****I know. I love you too.****"**

**And he pulled her towards him, an emotion unknown visible in his troubled topaz eyes.**

*****

I glanced uneasily in the mirror. My hair hung limply, my face paler than ever. Pain flashed through me once again, but my eyes didn't show any of it. Since Steven's death, my eyes were flat and lifeless. You couldn't see anything in them anymore.

*****

**Steven sat in Bella****'****s bedroom, waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. He heard the water shut off, before she emerged in her old pajamas. Around her neck was a delicate silver chain. His soul burned with intensity at the thought of what hung from the chain. A ring, but no ordinary one. It****'****s band was a white gold. Wrapping around the band were small, intricate, onyx vines. In the center of the ring sat emeralds, forming leaves. And directly between the jaded leaves, was a ruby rose. It was carved beautifully, but what Bella had loved about it, was that one petal was topaz. **

**She met his eyes, amused by the fact that he was staring intently at the ring. ****"****Steven?****"**

**He looked at her, ****"****Bella. There****…****.there is something I have to tell you.****"**

**She sat beside him, fingering the ring, concerned by his expression. ****"****Okay. Steven, what****'****s going on?****"**

**He loved her. It was the strongest, most powerful feeling in his existence. And he would do anything to keep her safe. ****"****Bella, you don****'****t know very much about my world. And I****'****m sorry. That****'****s my fault. But I****…****.****"**

**Bella was becoming frightened of what he would say.**** "****Tell me.****"**

"**There****'****s this family. The Volturi. And they enforce the laws of the Vampire World. I****'****m so sorry, you should have known about this all along. The only law, really, is to not let anyone know that we exist. And they are incredibly powerful.****"**

**She stared at him with wide eyes, simply waiting for him to continue.**

"**If they find out about you. That you know about what I am, they will kill you. I don****'****t want you to be in danger, Bella.****"**** He pleaded with her, using only his eyes.**

"**Change me. If I****'****m a vampire, isn****'****t that okay? Can****'****t you make me a vampire too?****"**** She gazed at him, worry etching each word.**

**He couldn****'****t meet her eyes. ****"****I can****'****t, Bella. You don****'****t know what you would be sacrificing. I can****'****t- I **_**won**__**'**__**t **_**take that away from you.****"**

**Rage constricted in Bella****'****s throat, ****"****Steven. I **_**know **_**what I would sacrifice. And I would give it all up just to be with you forever.****"**

**He looked away, away from her pained expression, away from the ring that held his promises. **

*****

The ring sat on my dresser, untouched since that fateful day. I sighed, twirling it around my fingertip, before placing it back on my dresser. My bed, warm and comforting just months ago, was a torture chamber.

Nightmares threatened my peaceful sleep, and every time I would scream. Scream until I woke, drenched in cold sweat.

I sat down, clutching my sides as my heart broke even further. The pieces keep falling and falling, breaking and breaking. And just when I may have begun to think that it is all over, the agony returns to bring me back down.

*****

**Steven traced her wrist with his fingers, playing aimlessly with her bracelet.**

**Bella stared at him, before opening her mouth, ****"****How long have you lived alone?****"**

**He gaped, pausing his hand, ****"****As long as I can remember.****"**

**She hugged him tighter to her, and ran her fingers through his messy hair.**

**He didn****'****t want to tell her what happened to him to make him like this.**

**And she let him evade the question.**

*****

Steven told me what happened a month after.

And my heart kept splintering as I recalled it.

*****

**He looked her dead-on, glorious topaz meeting brown. ****"****When I was twelve, my father showed me the family business. I had never wanted to be a carpenter, but he insisted on that being my line of work.****"**

**Bella hummed as he stroked her hair, just lying with him as he remembered.**

"**I helped him ever since then. I was nineteen when a woman asked for help.****"**

**He groaned quietly, staring into her eyes. ****"****I was so foolish, my Bella. The woman was- pretty, to say the least. All the men had fallen head-over-heels for her, and I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.****" **

**She cringed against his chest, and he soothed her in whispers before continuing.**

"**She had dark hair, almost black, that fell to her shoulders, I believe. And her eyes were a strange violet, more purple than blue.****"**** Steven shuddered.**

"**I thought I was in love with her-****"**

*****

I stopped myself before reliving anymore. A knock on the door downstairs brought me to my senses, and I walked slowly up to the door.

When I turned the knob, I gasped at who stood before me, his bronze hair wet with rainfall, the drops trickling down his face.

Edward Cullen.

He did not smile, but braced himself gently against the door-frame. His eyes were black as coal, and he did not shiver.

"Edward?" It was hard to believe he was really standing here, outside me and Charlie's house.

This seemed to bring him back, and his eyes lightened to a deep gold, "Bella."

"Ummmmm," I mumbled pathetically, "Not to be rude but, **what **are you doing here?"

**E. P.O.V.**

Bella stood in the doorway, her luscious scent wafting over me. I stiffened, and could practically feel my eyes blackening to onyx.

"Edward?" she appeared shocked, and rightfully so. The first and last time I had seen her, I had given her the impression that I was either mad, or deranged. However, her eyes were warm and deep, understanding, even. Beneath the understanding, was sadness, and her brows furrowed as she thought. A little pucker appeared between her eyebrows, and I wished I could take that worry and sadness away.

"Bella." I acknowledged her, still deep in thought.

"Ummmmmm," she hesitated, "Not to be rude but, **what **are you doing here?"

"Rosalie," I murmured, "was worried about you during the storm." Lying had always come easily for me. No human questioned what I said, but with Bella, it was different. The lie in itself was pathetic, and her brown eyes, deep and sorrowful, studied me.

"I'm fine," she mumbled, and then muttered about Rosalie worrying too much. "Would you like to…..come in?"

"All right."

I stepped inside swiftly, following her to the living room. She turned to face me, "Charlie will be back late tonight. Maybe midnight. He's working."

Bella sat down on the couch, and as she did, her hair fluttered with a small breeze, and I flinched. The inferno burned away against my throat. Parched and begging for sustenance.

I forced myself to sit down, as well. A careful distance away as she stared at me with an unfathomable expression. I desperately attempted to hear what she thought of my spontaneous visit, but her mind remained closed off.

"Well," I whispered, realizing that she was uncomfortable. She twisted with strands of her hair, and I held back a grimace.

"I suppose," I tried again, "I should introduce myself properly. Last time, you were-"

"-in the hospital. Not the best place for a meet-and-greet, is it?" Bella's voice rang with bitterness, and I froze. Glittering in the corner of her eyes, like shimmering diamonds, sparkled small tears.

"Bella…." I stared at the tears again, "Are you okay?"

"Fine." And then she nodded, brushing the tears from her eyes, "So, you were saying?"

I should have told her that I had to go. That the weather was surely dangerous, that I had to return to my family.

I should have done a lot of things.

But I couldn't. I couldn't leave her there, helpless and defensive. Her endless orbs of brown shined with agony, and when I looked at her, I could feel her pain as distinctly as if it was my own.

"My name is Edward Cullen. And I don't know if you will ever know how happy you are making my sister."

Damn.

As Emmett would say, I was seriously "screwed".

The rain poured outside, thunder exploding across the black canvas of sky.

She stared at it a long time, simply observing the lightening as it crashed down in bright streaks.

"My name is Bella Swan. And I don't know what I did to deserve this."

Sadness laced with her slowed speech, and more tears crept behind her eyes.

I should have.

Should have.

**B. P.O.V.**

I was fucking terrified of Edward Cullen.

As completely and utterly shocked as I was, he looked at me, and said, "Rosalie was worried about you during the storm."

I studied his face, and it did not betray his lie. But his eyebrows knitted together, somehow subconsciously, and I wondered.

When he stepped into my living room, he stared at me. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze, and continued to listen to the rain, as it pattered outside my window.

"My name is Edward Cullen. And I don't know if you will ever know how happy you are making my sister."

He appeared to struggle with an inner battle; his eyes looked troubled as he spoke.

It wasn't his stare that frightened me.

It wasn't his obviously conflicted emotions.

It was that I felt safe. I felt that I could say things to him, and he might actually listen.

And I hadn't felt like this since Steven.

The darkness pooled in my aching heart, and tears jumped to my eyes again.

Bitterness tinged my voice, "My name is Bella Swan. And I don't know what I did to deserve this."

**I thought I was in love with her.**

Permanent echoes of Steven's voice rang in my ears, and I hugged my knees to my chest.

The thunder was massacring the silence, and the lightening shattered the nighttime sky.

And when I met his now-golden eyes, they were filled with sympathy and respect and tenderness.

Fucking terrified.

**A/N: So, do share your thoughts and opinions. I apologize if this isn****'****t as polished, but the chapters will get better, I promise. I also am aware that it isn****'****t very long, and I****'****m sorry about that too.**

**Read and Review!**

**And if you have time, check out the other story on my profile, Silver Eyes, and my first one-shot, Mirrors and Roses.**

**Silver Eyes: What they had done to me****…****.**

**The words haunted me.**

**Bella is left to a destroyed fate when the Cullen****'****s leave and don't return. Immortal at 18, she is reunited with the family. Can she forgive and forget what was never hers to decide?**

**Mirrors and Roses: Rosalie Hale and a mirror. Her life's mistakes every time she glances at her reflection. Never free to admire beauty without pain.**

**NOTE- Mirrors and Roses was inspired by D R O W N I N G- I N- S E Q U I N****'****s, Beautiful Forevers. Hers is much better than mine!!!**


	6. Dying Roses

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all that is not the plot, the lines, and Steven. Of course. She always gets the good parts.**

**A/N: I told you I would get back on my updates, didn****'****t I? Enjoy the next chapter, and thanks for reading and reviewing. THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SOME SENSUAL MATERIAL. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS CHAPTER IS RATED 'M'.  
**

**Chapter 6: Dying Roses**

**E. P.O.V.**

I could not breathe. This close proximity was torturing me. Bella sat, sobbing, unaware. Against my will, I inhaled, the monster reveling in the fiery floral scent. It breezed down my airway, and I licked my lips in anticipation.

**Kill the girl. She is weak. Do it**.

I would not listen to instinct. This was the life I had chosen. She could not make me-

**Look. She cries, she would not scream very loud. It is who you are, you cannot deny that-**

Fight it. Be strong.

**When she blushes, you can see the red blood rush to her cheeks. Imagine it rushing down your throat. The pleasure will be-**

"ENOUGH!"

I did not notice I had yelled aloud, and Bella jumped to her feet, cowering.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, and I buried my face in my hands.

"I have to go," I spat, glaring as crimson rose to her face, "Rosalie will worry."

And I hurried to the door, slamming it behind me.

Before I disappeared into the dark, I heard Bella walk up the stairs and fall apart.

Monster, I sneered at myself. You are weak. She is nothing but a human.

I rushed into the forest, finding home, finding sanity.

*****

**The man cringed against the stone wall, and Edward stared at him in disgust. ****"****You vile human,****"**** he growled.**

**He punched the creature hard in the gut, and the man screamed, ****"****STOP! I will do anything. Please!****"**

"**She begged too,****you filthy beast,****"**** Edward yanked him up by his collar, ****"****did you offer her mercy?****"**

**From the man****'****s hand, fell a dozen white roses. **

"**ANSWER ME! Did you listen to her pleas? Did you spare her?****"**

"**No!****"**** the man sobbed, ****"****I did not.****"**

"**Give me one reason I should spare you,****"**** Edward felt the venom drip into his words, poisoning into hate.**

**He slammed the human against the bricks, and forced his teeth through the flesh. The flesh of a killer.**

**Before he walked away, he came back to reason, and stared at the lifeless eyes that stared up at him.**

**Sitting beside the body, a single rose had survived Edward****'****s rage.**

**Blood spattered the pure petals, red tainting innocence.**

**Murderer.**

*****

"Oh, Edward," sighed Alice, "What have you done?"

I stared at her, as her panicked thoughts drifted through her mind, "Is it different?"

She glanced behind her, where Rosalie sat on the couch, her eyes glinting with tears that couldn't fall, "No."

And I nodded grimly, walking up the stairs to a room that did not feel like my own.

**B. P.O.V.**

The dream was similar in all ways but one.

I was running. The wind lashed across my face, and I had nothing but moonlight to guide me.

Beyond me, maybe a hundred feet away, stood my saviour. His windswept hair tousled by the breeze, his eyes dark with agony.

"Bella," his lips framed my name, and I cried out, but my scream was silent.

"BELLA!" his voice shattered through me, but he did not see that I stood in plain view, calling for him too.

And then, a shadow crossed over the moon, and darkness fell upon us, smothering me with its unbearable weight.

Then Steven was gone, ripped from me by the black night. I waited for him by the trees, standing and sobbing.

That's when the dream changed.

Steven did not appear, but in his place, stood Edward Cullen.

"Bella," he whispered, "come to me. Trust me. I won't leave you."

"Liar!" I cried. "You will."

"I am sorry."

And then I was all alone.

When I awoke, my alarm clock flashed the red numbers, and the radio blared loudly. I turned over, turned off the alarm, and fell back asleep. School was not even on my mind as I succumbed to slumber.

Sooner or later, I hoped, I will fade into that world of nonexistence. And then nothing could frighten me anymore.

**E. P.O.V.**

I was pitiful. A disgrace.

"Edward."

Creature bred by hatred, inevitable failure-

"Edward."

A mistake.

"Edward, may I come in?" Esme's voice floated into the room, interrupting the music that played.

"All right," I sighed. Esme's thoughts were maternal and filled with worry.

"Oh, Edward," Esme soothed, coming forth to sit beside me on the leather couch. "It's going to be okay."

I leaned into her, feeling criminal for taking her motherly side now, when I spend most times pushing her away.

She sat for a long time, murmuring gently to me, and then I stood abruptly.

Someone was going to save Bella Swan.

And that someone would be me.

**B. P.O.V.**

The tears poured faster, and I rocked manically on my bed.

*****

"**Stupid heels,****"**** Bella grumbled, reaching down to massage her sore ankles. Steven sat with her, holding her closely against his chest.**

**Wordlessly, he kneeled before her, gently removing the black ****"****death traps****"****. He kissed the sole of her left foot, and she hummed, ticklish. Slowly, he kissed up her ankle, trailing up her calf.**

"**Steven,****"**** Bella whispered, reaching for his face.**

**He grabbed her hand and met her gaze. Then he kissed her, his mouth moving against hers as passion exploded around them.**

**Her lips were parted slightly, and his tongue thrust into her mouth. She clutched him close, kissing him back eagerly.**

**His mouth moved from hers, down her neck, pausing at the pulse point underneath her jaw. She shivered, and he massaged her sides, caressing her waist, her rib cage.**

**Steven****'****s fingers brushed against the buttons of her black shirt, and he swiftly undid them, revealing inches of her skin.**

**His mouth was soft against hers, and then he kissed down, shrugging her shirt off her shoulders as she struggled with his.**

**Bella traced Steven****'****s muscled chest and he brought his mouth back to hers.**

**Then he pulled away, and she looked into his eyes. They were dark, a penetrating onyx-gold, and were filled with desperation and agony.**

**She grasped it in an instant, tears filling her eyes, ****"****Oh, God. Oh, God.****"**

**Steven brushed her brown hair from her eyes, his hand lingered over her flushed cheeks. ****"****I****'****m sorry.****"**

"**Don****'****t go. Please!****"**

"**I****'****ll come back,****"**** he promised, and he stood up.**

**A moment passed as he threw on his shirt, and Bella grabbed his wrist. ****"****Let me have this,****"**** she pleaded.**

**Understanding flickered in his gaze, and he unbuttoned his shirt again, claiming her mouth once more.**

**Bella traced his face- his square jaw, the shadow of his lashes on his pale skin- while she kissed him, their tongues dancing in the heat of the moment.**

**The tears cascaded down her cheeks, falling and falling as she said good-bye, kissing him with pain and regret, as if somehow, she could change his mind.**

*****

**A/N: Oh, the drama! Edward is determined to be a hero, and Bella is in love with Steven. Read and review!**

**Next chapter, Chapter 7: Seventeen Forever, up soon. Thanks for following my story!**

**I know that this chapter is one of (okay, _the_) shortest of the story, but there was some serious information in here that had to get across. I am so nervous about posting it, so please, please, please tell me if you think it's okay. It would mean a lot. Also, that is about as 'M' as it will get in my story. I do not even attempt to write 'lemons' or 'smut', and by reading the scene above, I think it might be obvious why. Thanks again!**

**Rose**

**NOTE ADDED FEBRUARY 20, 2009:**

**Should you read a review from the author ihateviolabuddies, this is my friend. She has made an account to spite me, and mock my stories. :-) **

**Feel free to visit her page.  
**


	7. Part 1: The Inevitable

**Disclaimer: Steven****'****s mine. Other than that****…****.eh. Not so much.**

**A/N: This is a chapter in Steven's P.O.V., following his thoughts on the day he leaves. Read and review! Also, please check my profile for information on all of my stories. If I am late with an update, it will usually have the reason. _I have also added a poll. PLEASE VOTE FOR MY POLL IN MY PROFILE. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!_**

**Chapter 7: The Inevitable**

_**Part 1**_

**Steven P.O.V.**

I watched in amusement as Bella struggled with the necklace. She was dressed in a robe, her drying hair cascaded down her shoulders, combed neatly.

"You want some help?" I offered. My mouth twitched at the corners.

She turned and gave me a dirty look, "No. I don't need your **help**."

I smirked, grabbing the chain from her fingers. "It would be my pleasure."

I quickly closed the clasp, and she crossed her arms over her chest, pouting.

"So," I said, "why exactly are you going to this thing, anyway?"

She walked into her closet, pulling out the only dress in her wardrobe. "I told you," Bella replied. "My mom is coming to town, and she and Phil are having some kind of engagement celebration." She rolled her eyes.

"Right. And I can come?"

"If you want," she said, grumbling over the heels.

"Okay," I murmured.

She stared at me in surprise. "Aren't boyfriends supposed to be afraid of "meeting the parents"? Or, one parent, anyway."

I shrugged, "I'll come. Besides, vampires aren't scared of anything."

Bella walked into the bathroom, hurriedly putting on the dress. When she came back out, her hair was dried, and she donned a blue dress. She curled into my lap, beaming.

"You'll come?"

I kissed her forehead, "Of course. Listen, let me get changed, and then I'll be back in five minutes. We can go together."

Bella sighed, and I breathed in the floral scent that radiated off her skin. "I love you," she told me.

I stood up, turning her to face me. "I know," I whispered.

Her eyes shined with devotion and love, and I looked away.

The window was opened within seconds, and I nimbly leapt to the tree.

"I love you, too," I said, without turning back.

*

I exploded into the forest.

**I love you. Love you.**

I stepped out onto a cliff, staring at the sunlight streaming in ribbons through the clouds.

Shivering, but not from cold, I glanced at the water. Diamonds seemed to sparkle in the waves of blue.

Bella. Bella.

I screamed.

*

"Mrs. Dwyer," I said quietly, "it's so nice to finally meet you."

Bella clutched me close, her hand held tightly in mine. The woman in front of me looked like Bella. But there were prominent wrinkles around the corners of her mouth, and her hair was a light, light shade of brown. Her eyes studied me with interest.

"Steven," she acknowledged," it's nice to finally meet you, as well." And then she pulled me into a hug. "My daughter," she whispered loudly, "loves you very much."

I smiled, "I know. I love her too."

"And call me Renee. Mrs. Dwyer makes me feel older." And then she walked off to greet other guests.

Bella wrapped her arms around my waist, looking up at me. "I'm glad you guys met."

I hugged her tighter, "She's lovely."

The sun was in the middle of the sky. Noon.

"Bella," I began, "I'm just going to sit down. Why don't you go and talk to your mother. Have mother-daughter bonding or something."

She lifted her hand to trace the circles under my eyes. "Hunt," she ordered, "and then, when I know you're actually taking care of yourself, I'll bond."

I grinned at the stubborn expression on her face and kissed her forehead. "I'll be back in time to take you home," I promised, and then I walked out of sight.

*

I ran fast. The wind was howling somewhere far off, and the trees waved with the light breeze. I was alone in my silence, and I liked it that way.

The Volturi. The fucking Volturi. I clenched my hands into fists at the thought of Aro.

Bella's face shined in my head, and I tried to think of a way to save her.

I stopped in front of a river. The water was clear, pure and untouched. It was deep, deep enough to kill a person.

I stepped into the stream, forcing myself down. Down until I was submerged, my eyes looking above to see the sun.

I waited for the water to fill my lungs and drown me.

I closed my eyes and just… waited.

Inevitably, death never came.

*

"Hey," I whispered, sneaking up behind Bella.

"Steven!" she exclaimed. She examined my now-topaz eyes, "Looking good."

"_I _think so," I teased.

Bella smiled, "Come on. Take me home."

I grabbed her jacket from the table and led her to my car.

On the way there, I grabbed her hand. I paused for a millisecond, savoring the warmth, the pulse beneath my fingertips.

*

"Stupid heels," Bella grumbled against me, and she leaned down to remove them.

I knelt before her, and my hands met her foot, sliding the heels off gently. I kissed the sole of her foot, reveling in the softness of her skin.

I felt her hands reach for my face, and my head bowed, kissing up her calf. Then her lips met my own, and her fingers twisted in my hair.

I didn't want to let her go, to admit that I was going to break her heart. I pulled back, and she stared into my eyes. I wished I couldn't see the love there, the trust.

She trembled, tears swimming in her endless orbs of brown. "Oh, God. Oh, God."

My hand brushed her hair out of her eyes, feeling the blush rise to her cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"Don't go. Please!" she pleaded, and I felt the sobs building in my chest.

"I'll come back," I whispered, and I stood, prepared to walk out of her door. Out of her life.

Her hand caught my wrist as I turned to leave, "Let me have this," she begged.

I glanced at her, her disheveled curls, her flushed cheeks. I wanted to tell her that I could stay. That I would never leave her, always cherish her.

But I couldn't. I stepped towards her, unbuttoning my shirt, each step sending the worst pain imaginable through me.

And when I kissed her, and the passion exploded around us, I wanted to pretend that I didn't feel the tears that cascaded down her face, her tears that stained my face too.

*

Bella's even breaths informed me that she was asleep. Her hair fanned out over her bare shoulders, and I cried.

Sobs ripped through my chest, and even though I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was suffocating.

"Steven," she murmured, "don't leave me."

"I have to," I said quietly, though I knew she couldn't hear me.

**_Flashback_**

I sat down at an empty table, my eyes flashing. Since I had decided to try high school instead of college, life had been nothing short of painful. The children that attended Forks High School were immature, vile human beings.

"You've been to school too many times," I grumbled to myself.

I preferred to sit alone during my classes; humans were still appealing to me, even with hundreds of years of practice.

"Today we will have a new student," said the teacher, and I looked up with interest.

Standing behind him, practically _hiding _behind him was a teenage girl. Her eyes were wide with embarrassment, and she blushed a dark shade of red.

"This is Isabella Swan," Mr. Renolds announced.

That started murmurings amongst the other students. This must be Charlie Swan's daughter, I thought, intrigued.

She blushed some more, and hurried to a seat before he could ask her to introduce herself, or tell the class something about her.

I was less than pleased about sharing a table with her. She turned to face me, and froze for a moment, the crimson rushing back to her face.

Venom rose in my throat, and I grimaced. Her scent was pleasant, even more so than a normal human's.

"Hi," she whispered, "I'm Isabella, but I prefer Bella."

I nodded. "Steven. Steven Caligary."

**_End Flashback_**

**A.N. - Part 1 complete. Please share your thoughts. Expect an update in about a week or two. I'm sorry that it is so short. Thanks so much for reading. **

**I also would like to promise that I will return the present soon. **

**Rose**


	8. When Shadows Arrive

**A/N: Hey, I'm finally updating. I know this story has been progressing at a slow rate, so hopefully this speeds up the plot! I have to ask again to check my profile and answer my poll if you have not already done so. Thanks for reading and please review!**

**Chapter 8: When Shadows Arrive**

**R. P.O.V.**

"Rose."

I waved him off, hoping he'd find someone else to bother into oblivion. "Rosie?"

No such luck.

I tried not to turn in his direction, because then his puppy-dog eyes would cause me to feel terrible guilt for ignoring him.

"Rose?"

Sighing, I faced Emmett. "What?" As I expected, his topaz eyes were wide in his face, and his lower lip jutted out in an adorable pout.

Seriousness came back to his features. "I miss you, Rosalie."

I really did feel guilty. Alice had been trying her hardest to find something different in Bella's future, but it seemed that now she was only getting non-related flashes. Carlisle was reading into different books, hoping to find some defect that would cause an effect like that one. Edward didn't come back, and has been gone for two days.

My hand lingered over the phone, needing to call- afraid to call. "I'm sorry, Em," I told him truthfully.

Emmett sat down next to me. "You don't have to be sorry, Rose. We're all upset about Bella. _I'm _sorry."

I twisted a golden strand of hair around my finger and pressed the 'talk' button on the phone. I dialed two numbers and then hung up. "Damn it!"

"Do you want me to call?"

I bit my lip. "No. Don't worry about it."

"Rosalie," Emmett smiled, "you have to call her eventually."

I moaned, "I know. But what do you say to someone that……just what do you say?"

He gently grabbed the phone from my grasp and dialed Bella's number. "Start with hello."

I hung up quickly. "Not yet!" I hissed.

Emmett sighed. "Okay. But, Rosalie, you will regret not calling her if she gets sick before you do. What if you never talk to her again, Rose? I know you care about her. I'm going out for a hunt. Be right back."

I swallowed, attempting to ignore the burning feeling that raged in the back of my throat. For days I had been trying to escape the idea of leaving the house. Now, it seemed, I couldn't wait any longer.

I didn't want to leave. Not now, not when everyone was falling apart. Bella represented life and faith and so much more. She was my second chance at living. And now… Maybe I didn't deserve a family, a real family.

Alice breezed into the living room. "Soon," she muttered to herself. "Soon."

"Where is Edward?" I asked her, attempting to gain her attention.

She flitted about the living room, straightening pillows and mumbling incoherently to herself. Esme was cooking- a habit she seemed to do when she was nervous. The putrid fumes of lasagna floated from the kitchen to the living room.

"What?" Alice seemed genuinely confused.

I paused and ran my fingers through my golden hair. "Edward. Where is he?"

"_He's _looking for her. _He's _keeping an eye on her." She glared in my direction. "He's doing something."

Considering this, my eyes widened. "Why does he care?"

Alice, being Alice, ignored my statement.

Suddenly, her eyes widened, and she glared at my cell phone on the table, mouthing numbers. At the very next second, the phone buzzed.

"Pick up!" Alice whispered.

I tentatively brought the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Rosalie?" Bella's voice sounded weak, but determined.

"Bella? Are you okay?" I was worried. How much time did she have left? What was wrong with her?

"Rose, I need your help…." she trailed off, and I jumped from the couch.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Just…..hurry," she said shakily.

"Bella, what's going on?" I practically cried into the phone.

"Rosalie, you need to come quickly. I don't know if-"

And then there was a clattering noise in the background, and the line went dead.

Esme, Alice, and I froze for a moment, before springing into action. "Alice," Esme instructed, "go get Carlisle." She looked at me, "Rose, go. Go!"

Nodding, I hurried out the door. "If you see Emmett-"

"I'll tell him to follow you. Now go!"

**B. P.O.V.**

Fading.

I thrashed violently in the darkness but could not open my eyes. I tried to scream but my voice was frozen in my throat.

Steven's baby….No. No. NO!

And then a beam of light erupted in front of my eyelids and echoes surrounded me in my blackness. "Bella?! Carlisle, hurry! Bella, stay with me."

Harder. I tried to blink but I was trapped. Pain exploded like fireworks inside me, threatening my even breaths.

Where was I? Who was I?

What was I doing here?

**R. P.O.V.**

Bella's heartbeat grew weaker. I stared at the monitor, pleading, begging that it would read differently. She was alive. Barely.

"Rosalie, how much did Bella tell you about this baby?" Carlisle sat across from me, his eyes serious.

My voice was raspy. I buried my face in my hands. "She had a boyfriend who died before she could tell him. I don't even know how far along she is."

He nodded. "Rosalie, if I tell you this now, you have to keep it from Edward."

"What? Why?" I lifted my head and gazed at Carlisle, my attention gained.

He handed me Isabella Marie Swan's file and pointed to a marked page.

I ran my fingers across the image and looked up at my father. "How is this possible?" I whispered, my eyes growing large.

"What do you know about the myths surrounding the incubus?"

And my world stopped.

**_**

Carlisle stood in the dining room facing Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Esme, and I. Edward was still gone, and for the moment we were taking advantage of that.

"I believe," Carlisle stated, "that Bella may be pregnant with a vampire's child."

I stared at the ground as audible gasps sounded throughout the room. "Carlisle, how is that possible?" Jasper questioned.

"There are myths," Carlisle answered, "but I always thought it impossible. Until now. Bella is clearly pregnant, but I can't get an image on the ultrasound. Her health is deteriorating rapidly. We have to _do _something. I just don't know what can be done now."

"Will the baby live?" I asked him, my heart clenching. "What about the baby?"

My family all turned to look at me with wide eyes as Carlisle sighed. "I don't know. We have to gather as much information as we can. When Bella wakes up, Rose, you have to talk with her. Try to find out everything she knows about this pregnancy- especially the father. And I have to ask you all- Edward, I can tell, is very attached to Bella. Please try to keep this from him. I will talk with him at the right time, but now is not it. Everyone must stay as calm as possible."

We all nodded and everyone but Carlisle and I stayed in Bella's room upstairs. He rested a hand on my shoulder and smiled briefly before leaving the room.

Emmett paused in the doorway. "Rose. Are you okay?"

My lip quivered but I shook my head 'yes'. "Yeah," I choked, "I'm fine."

"Bella's strong, you know," he told me. "She'll pull through this." He used to be able to convince me.

"It's not Bella I'm worried about," I said sharply.

He walked in and brushed a strand of blonde hair out of my eyes. "I don't believe that. You _do _care about what happens to Bella, Rose. You do."

"No," I said, the sobs bubbling to the surface. "I don't. No."

Emmett stared at Bella as she lay underneath the covers, her dark hair fanned out around her pale, pale face. "She'll be okay, Rosie," he soothed, "I promise."

"What are we going to do?" I whispered into his shoulder.

"I promise," Emmett repeated, and he said it over and over until it sounded in my ears like an endless lullaby.

**E. P.O.V.**

I watched as Bella collapsed to the ground. As Rosalie and Carlisle burst into her room and carried her frail body away. And it hurt me more than I expected it would.

I needed to be with her. Physically, I ached staying away. But she was human. She had a future and a life and a heartbeat.

And so I ran.

The time it took me to find myself half-way across the country was so little. Running was effortless. It needed no thoughts. Time meant nothing to a vampire. When you have forever, who does it hurt to waste moments?

I buried my face in my hands as I stood in the snow of Alaska. My eyes stared straight ahead into the sunset, unblinking, unchanging. Unmoving.

I could wait here for centuries and never grow tired. And though my family would miss me, I was nothing but a silent ghost of a person in their home.

I wasn't needed.

**R. P.O.V.**

Bella moaned in her state of unconsciousness and I shot up in my seat.

"Bella, Bella? Are you okay? Can you hear me?" I leaned over her bed and looked at her eyes, hoping she would open them.

Suddenly, her eyelids flickered and I was met with the brown color that had been haunting me for the past few hours. "The baby," she gasped, "is the baby okay?"

I took a breath. "I don't know, Bella. I wish I did."

Bella bit her lip and raised a weak hand to brush against her stomach. "Where am I?"

"You're at my house. Carlisle checked on you but…."

She glared at me. "Tell me what's wrong with my baby, Rosalie." Her eyes grew large and pleading.

"I need you to tell me about the baby's father," I said, sitting back down. "Please, Bella. This is important. Your life and the baby's depends on it."

Bella inhaled and shut her eyes. She leaned back against the pillows propped behind her and opened her mouth to speak.

**Author's Note: Cliff-hanger. My apologies. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Even if you didn't, please hit the green button and fire away! I am finally on a roll here, getting the plot moving. Yay! The story still has a ways to go. Next chapter is another "flashback" to the time when Steven was alive, so this cliffie will have to wait until Chapter 10. ******

**Also, I have to ask that you leave as many reviews as possible. I need to know what you guys think. If you haven't already done so (God, I feel as if I've said this a thousand times) please vote on my poll. Thanks for all who are reading!**

**Rose**


	9. Yours, Wholly and Completely

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**Author's Note: So my updates have been pathetic. Yeah, I have realized that. And I apologize sincerely, and say a very passionate thank you to all who have been waiting patiently. I have a lot more time on my hands now that it's summer, and I'm hoping that my updates will be more often then they have been this year. I also know that I said in my last A.N. that this chapter would be another flashback chapter, one that was in Steven's P.O.V. However, I felt a little nicer, and decided to end your misery and let you guys find out what happened after our last chapter left off. Okay, fine, Bella made me do it! Alrighty, then, let's get to it!**

**MAJOR SAP, ihateviolabuddies. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**Italics are flashbacks, people.  
**

**Chapter 9: Yours, Wholly and Completely**

**Bella P.O.V.**

Before Steven, my life was as uneventful as any average human's. And every day, the routine seemed to snatch more and more of… _me _until I was nothing but my schedule. I needed adventure, and Phoenix just wasn't going to give it to me. And it was for that reason that I begged my mother to allow me to move to Forks. I was fifteen years old, and knew nothing of the horrors and miracles that lay ahead.

I remembered that day, as I stared into Rosalie's warm, forgiving eyes. And it was the flashback that stopped me from speaking as I opened my mouth to lie.

"_Please, Mom!" I winced, noting how whiny I sounded. _

_My mother was frantic, her hands in her hair, her eyes panicked. "Bella, I don't understand. Why do you want to _move_?"_

_I glanced at her and sighed deeply. "I need a change of scenery. _Please _let me go!"_

_Finally, she calmed down, collapsing into the plaid couch in our living room "Do you really want this?"_

_I nodded, my head bobbing at an alarming speed. _

"_Fine," she said, giving in. "I'll call Charlie in the morning."_

_Smiling, I threw my arms around her. "Thank you thank you thank you!"_

_And so I packed my bags and left, arriving in Forks on Saturday morning and hauling everything I'd brought- which wasn't much- into the back of Charlie's police cruiser. It was the middle of my sophomore year, and I was nervous about facing all of the other students at Forks High. _

_Charlie seemed glad to see me, at least. He drove the car slowly, always careful to abide to the speed limits of Forks, and asked a grand total of three questions: how are you, how is Renee, and, do you still like blue?_

_I smiled, told him I was fine, Mom was fine, and of course I liked blue. He smiled as well, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners as he had pulled into the driveway of my new home. _

___

Rosalie snapped me out of my reverie. "Bella, are you okay?"

I nodded, yet my mind refused to still. Thoughts travelled around my brain at a hundred miles an hour. _What was I going to say?_

And while I wanted more than anything to pretend that I had no idea what she was talking about, to act as if Steven Caligary was nothing more than a boy I'd regretted ever having sex with, and whom I blamed for getting me pregnant and then dy- No. I refused to think the word- I couldn't. Because the words that rose to my lips were not lies, but truths.

"Steven was my first boyfriend," I began, and I lowered my gaze to the satin sheets, fingering the lace of the pillowcase. "I met him when I was fifteen, about to turn sixteen."

"_Today we will have a new student," the teacher said, and I could almost hear a note of excitement in his voice. Sheesh. I thought _I _needed to get a life. _

_I knew what was coming, though, and I cowered behind him, trying to avoid giving an introduction of my own. _

"_This is Isabella Swan."_

_If possible, I blushed harder as the whispers began. I ran to the first seat I could find, and collapsed into the chair. I turned to face the boy beside me, and froze. His eyes were fixed on my face, and the golden shade to them was dark and alluring. His dirty-blonde hair was straight but messy, and he had muscles that rivaled any of the other boys in the class. He looked _way _to old to be fifteen or sixteen. _

"_Hi," I mumbled pathetically. "I'm Isabella, but I prefer Bella." Shrinking into my seat, I stared at him, hoping I didn't sound too much like an idiot._

_Instead, he nodded, and I noticed that his eyelashes were dark, framing his eyes beautifully. "Steven. Steven Caligary."_

_

_At lunch, a bouncy girl with brown curls approached me eagerly. After introducing herself as Jessica, she dragged me to her table, where I met Mike, Angela, Eric, and a quiet boy named Ben._

I _ate silently, but Jessica had other plans. She talked and talked, prattling on and on about different people in the school. My eyes, of their own accord, travelled across the cafeteria, landing on the table where Steven Caligary sat alone, his fingers drumming against the plastic table subconsciously, muscles rippling down his arms as he did so. _

"_And then there's Steven."_

_My fork dropped to my plate embarrassingly as I turned to face her, finally interested in what she had to say. "Yeah?"_

"_Well, he mostly keeps to himself," she whispered, and Angela smiled at me, rolling her eyes slightly at Jess' attempt to make everything dramatic. I liked her already. _

_Jessica plowed on, "He moved here last year, and the creepy part is, no one knows much_ _about him. I don't know if he even has parents, 'cause he _never _has any friends over. I don't think he has any _friends_. He just kind of sits there, at the same table every day. But the stories they tell……" She trailed off meaningfully, taking a sip of her water bottle before she continued further. "Well, some kids were saying that they heard that he lost his temper at this kid, and beat him up, like, so badly he was bruised for _months_."_

_Angele shook her head no. "Come on, Jess. I don't think he'd do that. He's kind of alone over here, you know?" she asked me, and I nodded in understanding. I didn't think that Steven, no matter how weird he seemed, would ever critically hurt someone._

"_Believe what you believe," Jess said ominously, "but I think we should just admire from afar."_

_I bit my lip to keep from laughing, but couldn't help but to agree. Steven was an enigma, and he had my complete attention, right from the very first second I had met him._

_

**Edward P.O.V.**

Until I met Bella, I couldn't understand the fascination some of my kind held for humans. They were predictable, their minds shallow and, at times, disturbing. And in my darkest hours, the years I spent hunting them down, I had come across the evilest of creatures. Some were willing to do anything for money, their greed beyond rationality. Others were simply self-centered, ever thought revolving around just them, as if the whole world didn't matter.

And when Rosalie spoke up and told Carlisle quite determinedly that she _would _be adopting a child, I shook my head in disbelief. Because humans whose lives crossed paths with vampires', especially in the intimate, delicate way of parenthood, led to nothing but trouble. And in the end, when Rosalie would be forced to let her child grow old and have a family of his own, she would be devastated. I loved her as if she were related to me by blood, but I was shocked to discover that Carlisle actually had sighed and then smiled, allowing Rose to go through with her plans. You must understand, however, he had said, that eventually you will have to tell the child about what you are. Rosalie glanced at Emmett, who had squeezed her hand reassuringly, and then nodded. And so the search had begun.

_Isabella Swan._ The name, up until just weeks ago, meant nothing. And then I was called, quite rudely, I might add, by Alice into her hospital room. Her scent had blown across me, so powerful it threatened everything I had worked for. But I refused to succumb to my instincts, and with the help of Alice, and Jasper, once he too had calmed down, I was able to walk away without harming the girl. I knew, from Rosalie's thoughts, that Bella's boyfriend, the father of her baby, was dead. And my heart ached for her.

She was intriguing, and I had never come across anyone like her. I could not read Bella's thoughts, and at times I was filled with frustration, wondering what she was thinking as she furrowed her brow, or as she blushed. I was…..charmed. Stolen, quite unintentionally, I am sure, by her quiet, selfless mannerisms. And I was lost. I had learned not to bet against Alice, and Alice had seen Bella's death.

Cowardly as I was, I ran. But I couldn't stay away. And just a day after I had left, I turned back, flying over the snow as I hurried to return to Forks. I just didn't know what I would find there, and the thought of losing Bella, of her dying while I was running, broke my heart.

**Bella P.O.V.**

_Day after day, I practically skipped to English in my haste to see Steven. He was always polite, but his distance was annoying. _

"_Hi," I muttered, on the second week, and he nodded in response, his pencil still whizzing across a page in his notebook as he doodled._

_I sighed. Over the past ten days, I had noticed from my ashamedly frequent staring that he did, indeed, always sit alone. He never spoke to anyone other than teachers, and he rarely ate. Sometimes he didn't buy a lunch tray at all. The fluorescent lights danced across his pale skin, the alarming shade of white shocking to me, even though I was practically an albino. He dressed okay, and he didn't seem to notice as many girls, including myself (damn it, Bella, cut it out!), watched him like he was the next best thing on the Soaps network. _

_Unfortunately, English rarely called for us to work together, as the teacher, Mr. Renolds,_

_preferred for us to work individually. The times that we did work together, however, I noted that he was incredibly smart. He liked to draw, I gathered, from his always doodling in the margins on his class work, and he wasn't half bad, something I learned from peeking at his work. _

_Steven was different from anyone I had ever met, and though Jess and Angela were nice, and Mike a little _too _friendly, I wanted to know this boy. I wanted to know the boy that avoided contact with everyone else. _

**Edward P.O.V.**

The lights were dimmed in the house, and I could hear the thoughts of my family buzzing in my ears. I blocked them out impatiently, searching for the heartbeat I so desperately needed to hear.

Locating the thumping sound of her heart, and hearing the whooshing sound as her blood rushed through her veins, I inhaled deeply in relief. I crept silently around the back of the house, and I heard Bella say to Rosalie in a dark tone:

"I know what you are."

**Author's Note- AGAIN!**

**Yay! I'm donnnnnneeeeeee Chapter 9! So…. do you guys want to know what Bella said to Rosalie? Or do you want to know what Steven was up to? You tell me. I am your faithful servant.  
**

**I'm so happppppy I finally finished! And in one day. Wow. I practically threw everything else I had written out and started from scratch. I know I sound freakishly excited right now, but nothing makes me happier than writing. Nothing at all.  
**

**REVIEW!**

**Also, I have included (6/22/09) a preview from _Volterra of Secrecy_.**

Sacrifice is a painful concept. And though hard to believe, necessary in all that we accomplish in a lifetime. This for that. Death for life. It is a constant. And in my world, nothing will stop the vicious cycle from taking someone you love. Loss is imminent and regret is sure. No one can understand what might drive someone to this place of hurt except for the three of us. You see, there is but one thing that drew me here, and that is power.

**Marcus**

I had, perhaps, stared at the same ceiling for weeks. It could have been months, I was unsure. The fact remained, however, that as a vampire, minutes seemed to melt together, and then hours, until time was unimportant, simply something that existed, threatening to humans yet nothing to us. Jagged cracks split the yellowed plaster, and I was slightly bothered by the imperfection. Heidi was away, and until her return, Felix would be anxious. Ah, an anxious Felix was such a wonder to witness. It was laughable really; Felix's size providing one with the illusion that he feared no one, when that was so far from the truth. Though it was possible that losing Heidi was the _only _catastrophe he was concerned about, he still brooded most adolescently.

"Sir."

My head turned in the direction of the quiet, awed voice. "Yes, Gloria?" She was new, her blood enchanting. Aro had wanted to turn her, however, Caius convinced him otherwise. I could not help but to understand his point of view. Gloria was a perfect candidate for blood-harvesting, as gruesome as it may sound. And, of course, we had recruited her quite willingly. Though it may be shocking, most humans were so intrigued by the idea of joining us, they wore the robes by their own choice. We had our number of forced members, obviously.

"Aro is requesting your presence in the main hall, sir," Gloria said quickly, her pulse rising. It became clear on her very first day that she harbored a deep attraction to me, something I found unnerving.

I nodded, my expression unchanged. "Very well."

_

As I glided under the stone arch, I raised a tentative eyebrow at the sight before me. Aro sat in a throne-like chair while Caius looked on jealously. It wasn't exactly a secret that Cauis wished to be sitting in the ivory chair. It was where I wished to sit as well. For now, though, it was obvious that Aro had gained the right to be called 'master'. Even if it bothered me.

"There, there, my brother," Aro sang. "You know the rules." Yes, yes we did. And though we appeared to be amiable towards each other, this was just a carefully perfected act.

**Tell me what you think!**


	10. Author's Note: Please Read

**~Author's Note~**

Yes, this is an author's note and not an actual update. I know that it has practically been a year since I've updated Steven, and longer for my other stories. I just wanted to let all of you know that I haven't abandoned this fanfic., and that it is my intention to start updating on a regular basis as soon as possible.

So, I suppose that the least I can do is give you a reason for my disappearance….Um… The truth is that I have been struck by an unfortunate bout of illness and writer's block, and I really just wasn't inspired. I reread SLML and decided that it was crap, and didn't want to continue writing. It may, in fact, actually be crap, but I'm committed to it now so…

Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know what was going on. Hopefully I haven't lost a whole lot of reviewers/followers and that the next chapter will be up soon. I also wanted to thank everyone for their patience and all new reviewers. I have hit 141 reviews and I am still in shock!

So, in closing, thank you and I'm sorry!

**R**


	11. Verity

**Author's Note: Okay, so first of all I would like to apologize for first not posting for over a year and then telling you that I'd have the next chapter up a few weeks after. Ummm…yeah. Really sorry about that. I don't have a good reason, I just had a lot of things going on in my life right now and so…..a **_**huge **_**delay. Anyway, I'm hoping that after this chapter the posting will get better and then maybe I'll start to update Silver Eyes and some of my other…ahem…unfinished works. So here we go! As always, reviews are appreciated – if I have any followers left, that is….*eyes dart around nervously***

**Chapter 10: Verity**

**Bella P.O.V.**

To say that Rosalie looked angry would be an understatement. She was _enraged_. Her eyes were nearly black, the pupil barely visible and I was sure that in a few seconds she'd be foaming at the mouth. And yet there was something deeper, something hidden beneath her carefully composed features that hit me hard – she was hurting. Rosalie was in pain because of me.

She continued staring me down and then exhaled, her anger deflating slightly. She closed her eyes for a moment and spoke in a soft, even tone.

"How long have you known?"

I picked at the loose threads on my sweater. "Since I met Steven."

"And the baby….it's his. And that means…." She seemed unwilling to even accept this information.

"Yes. I'm so sor – "

"Don't." Rosalie returned her gaze to mine and glared. "Because you never deemed it necessary to volunteer the information that your baby is a half-human, half-vampire fetus, you both might die. And I don't really care if you die, but I want that baby, Bella. I've always wanted children, always. You have no idea what you've done. You might have just stolen that from me."

I tried again. "I'm sorry."

An eerie calm seemed to settle in the stale air between us. "I'm not going to forgive you, Bella. Not until I know that the baby is healthy."

She stood up and walked out of the room, careful to shut the door behind her. It wasn't until after she was long gone that the tears came. The dam had broken, and for the first time since Steven died I was forced to realize how far my life had gotten off track. I cried for hours – long, self-pitying sobs that Rosalie and Emmett and all the others must have heard and ignored. I was left alone.

Part of me wanted to curl up into a little ball and never come out, never wake up, never face all the messes I had made. Rosalie was a good person – she really was. I was the selfish, teenaged brat giving up my baby because I couldn't deal. She was right, I had risked the baby's life – I'd risked my life. I had known the pains weren't normal….I hadn't said anything.

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered, clutching the blanket closer.

A figure emerged then, hopping effortlessly over the window sill with a grace I would never be able to achieve.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Bella."

I backed away from Edward at first – there was no forgetting the last time we were alone together. The way he had thrown himself out the door, as if he couldn't stand to be close to me for one more second.

"You don't know that," I snapped. Even as fragile as I was, my temper still seemed to flare at the worst of times.

He sighed and stepped forward. "I want to apologize to you about the other night. I….should have handled myself better."

I kept my mouth shut.

"I heard your conversation with Rosalie," he admitted. His left hand ran through his hair, tugging at the roots.

He didn't just hear it, he eavesdropped, but I didn't voice my thoughts. "So you know. "

"So you know."

We'd spoken at the same time. He gestured for me to continue.

"I lied to everyone, Edward. What if the baby dies? Rose will never forgive me." I had no idea how it was even possible to be feeling so many things at once.

"You aren't afraid of us at all, are you?"

I stared at my fingers, lacing them together. "When I first found out what _he _was, I told him that I never wanted to see him again. He was, at the time, the most important thing to me – and he had lied about everything. His parents weren't traveling – they were long dead, he didn't have to stay on some strange diet – he had drained some poor animal earlier that week. I was having a harder time dealing with the lying part than I was the vampire part."

A harsh laugh escaped me.

"It didn't take long before I came crawling back, though. It was like gravity between us. Separation wasn't possible. He apologized over and over until I couldn't even bear to hear the words. He was sorry and I loved him."

Edward knelt beside me, looking up at my face with sympathetic gold eyes.

"He told me things in small pieces over time. I was slowly able to connect the fragments until they made sense. He was nineteen, physically, and two-hundred in reality. He always wanted to take me sailing…."

"When did…when….?"

I bit my lip. "He was going to leave me. He had been summoned to meet with the Volturi. He was trying to protect me…somehow. We slept together right before and I woke up alone. My father told me that Steven was murdered in Italy. The letter came for me, but Charlie had read it – I had fallen into a haze of pain. It simply stated that he was dead. He wasn't coming back. I had thought he was indestructible and they killed him."

"There wasn't a funeral. His traveling parents didn't show up, obviously, and as far as the school and everyone else was concerned he was just another teenage runaway. After all, how could anything bad happen in a town as small and unassuming as Forks?"

"Charlie tried to convince the men at the station that the Caligary case was important to look into, but I had burned the letter, the most important piece of evidence. Days after that, I found out I was pregnant. And days after that I decided to give the baby away. What kind of mother would I make? My boyfriend was dead and I was a wreck. I wanted to disappear."

"Then I found Rose and Emmett. I knew they were vampires when I first saw their eyes, though it had taken me a minute to accept it. In the end, though, I liked the idea of Steven's child being raised by vampires. Their eye color told me they were harmless, and Rosalie had been so kind. The decision was made. Rosalie would get to be a mom and I would be able to fade away. I would be able to see _him_. Be with him forever, like I'd always wanted."

Edward was silent for a few moments after I finished. He didn't meet my gaze, just sat beside me on the bed.

"Would you promise me something?" He grabbed my wrists gently and brushed his thumb across the knuckles on my right hand.

"Yes," I said softly, but I tugged my hand out of his grasp.

He considered his words carefully – the sentence was slow and unsure. "Please…don't just fade away – don't disappear."

Something stirred in me, an emotion that I had locked away in a dusty corner of my heart. I forced my thoughts away. "Why, though, Edward? I don't have anything left."

His eyes darkened. "Bella, listen to me. Rosalie's upset right now – she has wanted to be a mother since she was just a child herself – but she _does _care for you. Emmett thinks you're the most hilarious person he's ever met. Alice is jumping out of her skin at the very prospect of shopping with you again. Carlisle wants to get to know you; he thinks you're an incredibly interesting person. Esme – well, you haven't really met her yet but you have no idea how highly she thinks of you. Jasper is pleased that you're making Alice happy – you have his seal of approval. And I – I care for you, Bella. We would _all _be affected if you left."

There were so many things that I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that of course I cared for Rose and Em and Alice and even the rest of the Cullen clan. That I even cared for him – probably more than I should have. But my thoughts were all blurred, my hormones running wild. One minute I wanted to burst into tears and the next I was seriously considering slapping a vampire. And then, as the minutes ticked by of Edward waiting for my response, I thought of Steven.

I remembered the way his nose was crooked – it had obviously been broken at some point. I remembered the way his eye lashes were long enough to make me jealous. I remembered trailing my hands over his broad shoulders and tangling my fingers in his hair. I remembered the open-mouthed kisses he had left in the hollow at my throat. I remembered how much I loved him.

Yes, I did care for the Cullens.

It was just that I loved Steven more.

**Rosalie P.O.V.**

I imagined her with long blonde hair, a shade fairer than my own. She would have brown eyes like Bella, and they would always be wide with curiosity. In my fairy-tale, I called her Verity. Lux et Veritas – light and truth. Because that was what she was – would be – my truth, my everything and always. Emmett would love her. I could easily picture him twirling her around, taking her go cart racing and who knows how many other crazy things I would disapprove of. Alice would like to dress her in ridiculously frilly outfits complete with lace and ribbons and ruffles. She would have two, bright red cheeks that flushed with color when she was happy or embarrassed or angry or excited. And she would love me, look at me the way children looked at their mothers – with such complete trust it was heartbreaking.

But now that image was tainted. That perfect, extraordinary life I had created was tinged with darkness. The little girl was now deathly pale. She didn't blush and twirl. Instead, she smiled, flashed sparkling white teeth, and lunged for a young fawn's jugular.

Edward turned his furrowed, uptight, I-am-worried-all-the-time frown in my direction.

I growled at him. _Get out of my head, you poking, prying bastard. _

But I couldn't stop the pictures from forming. My daughter, my lovely perfect daughter glimmering in the sun. And it wasn't beautiful or magical. My baby, my only reason for existing – wiping her mouth clean after swallowing mouthful after mouthful of blood.

Verity, with those inquisitive eyes a shocking, disturbing shade of crimson.

Verity, in black robes and paper-thin skin, one of Aro's minions, his slaves.

Verity, frozen in a state of non-being, suspended in time.

Verity, to end up like me.

**Author's Note: This took me a while to get out, but I can't imagine it any different. I hope that it holds up to your standards – I hope that it's good. Rosalie's section nearly brought me to tears. Please read and review. Share any thoughts, questions, criticisms you may have. **

**Love, **

**R**


	12. Surrender

**Author's Note: Yes, this post is long overdue. Again. Anyway, I just wanted to address something – I've received a few reviews that are condemning Rosalie for being somewhat of a brat. That really isn't my intention, though I can understand why some of my readers might see it that way. If you are one of those readers, this chapter really isn't going to be so much better, but I'd like you to try and put yourself in Rose's shoes. Think about all that she's lost, and just how badly she wants this baby. Okay, on with it!**

**Chapter 11: Surrender**

**Bella P.O.V.**

I was becoming a recluse. The Cullens were worried about me, and they didn't make any effort to keep their conversations quiet. While I hid under the covers, I would hear Rosalie and Carlisle murmuring back and forth. I didn't feel like moving, I didn't feel like breathing. It had taken a few weeks, but I had reached the acceptance stage. Steven was dead, I was alone and pregnant and surrounded by overly protective vampires. Boo hoo. It wasn't like I enjoyed the pity party I was throwing for myself on an hourly basis. I was terrified of what would happen to the baby, and I definitely didn't want to have another face-to-face confrontation with Rosalie or Edward, for that matter.

Food was unappealing. Whether it was the horrible nausea that had plagued me for weeks or the depression that had crept up on me during the last few days, I had no desire to eat a single saltine cracker. Carlisle had come in at some point to give me an IV and I had been too exhausted to even fight him. There was an impending sense of loss that had begun to crush me. I was giving up, and I didn't have much control over my decision.

And then, the baby kicked. It was a soft flutter at first, a low swooping feeling that rose within me like a wave. Over time, though, it grew stronger and stronger. I would lie awake at night with my hand pressed against my stomach just waiting for that one sign of life. It reminded me why Rosalie was so desperate, and suddenly became the reason that for the first time I was having trouble facing the idea of adoption. It was hard to think about – my heart was torn between the sudden need to actually know and raise Steven's child and the desire to join him at long last, to be free of responsibility and hurt. Besides, I had promised Rosalie a child. She, after all, had all the proper means to support a baby. And, oh God, the way she looked at me, as though I held her future in my hands. But every time the baby kicked there was a moment when my breath would catch, and I would wonder what my life could be like.

**Rosalie P.O.V.**

"_Carlisle_! This is ridiculous. Tell her to stop acting like a petulant child." I stared him down, daring him to argue.

He sighed and glanced at me with sorrowed eyes. "I have no control over Bella, Rose. I've given her IV fluids and necessary nutrients but I can't make her leave the room, nor can I shove food down her throat. I'm sorry, I really am."

"Yeah, right," I sneered. "You're only a three hundred year old vampire. What could you _possibly _accomplish when dealing with an a hundred and ten pound girl?"

"Rosalie, I – " he paused, collected himself. "Talk to her. That's the only advice I can offer at this point. She won't accept visitors but you are, after all, a one hundred year old vampire dealing with an a hundred and ten pound girl." He smiled. "I can't change her mind, but maybe you can. It's worth an attempt."

"I agree." Edward stepped into the room and rested a hand on my shoulder. "I spoke to her a few days ago. She's a reasonable girl and you know that. There was a time before all this that you were actually becoming friends."

I ignored him and turned back to face Carlisle. "I don't care what you have to do. I don't care if it violates your Batman ethics. Knock her out, run your tests and save the child. I'm begging you, Carlisle. Do this for me."

He looked at me and then Edward, who was already shaking his head violently.

"Carlisle, you can't honestly be considering – "

"I'll set up the amniocentesis." Carlisle frowned and stood, straightening his lab coat. "Rose, go talk to her. If I'm going to do this, I want her to at least know why. Go."

I nodded once and turned to leave. My eyes met his. "Thank you."

As I had expected, Edward cornered me exactly two seconds after I had left Carlisle's office. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging to the point that I was smirking at the idea of a bald Edward.

"You can't do this, Rose."

"Sure I can."

"I'm serious. Talk to her, tell her that you want to help both her and the baby."

"Saint Edward, you really are wonderful but I doubt that anything I say will change Bella's mind. She wants to close her eyes and sleep through the delivery and then let herself die."

One raised eyebrow made it clear: I would have to tell him.

"I overheard your little chat the other night. I know why she's doing this, Edward. I just think it's selfish."

"You had no right to do that!" He grabbed my shoulders and shoved me against the wall. His mouth was set in a grim line, his eyes filled with silent warnings. "I care about Bella. I care about her more than you do because _you're _the one being selfish. All you want is the baby, and if you knew that the child would live, you would cut that baby out of Bella's stomach without a second thought."

"You don't know anything. You can't even begin to imagine what my life has been like-"

"Oh, give it a rest! You want a baby; you need a child in your life to make you happy. I understand. But you're not heartless, Rose. Bella is still a child. She is seventeen. She has lost the love of her life and any chance at normalcy. And now her life is at risk. Do not sedate her against her will. Do not do something you'll regret."

"If you'll please excuse me," I easily broke his grip. "I have a scared teenage girl to talk to."

Bella was not, as I had suspected her to be, fast asleep. She was lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling with a blank glaze to her eyes. Her hands were positioned on the small swell of her stomach, a swell I was positive hadn't existed just three days before. I watched with a certain level of fascination as Bella smiled and her lips parted in a sigh.

Perhaps I just wanted to convince myself that I wasn't a horrible person, but I was sure that Edward was wrong. As a broody, seventeen-year-old male he couldn't possibly understand my own desire to be a mother. When Carlisle agreed to change Emmett, I had been sure that my life would be complete. Instead, no matter the amount of attention and love Em showered me with, I couldn't let go of that one last piece of me that was still human.

And so the search had begun. Thousands of records and thousands of dollars later and Emmett and I were no longer Emmett Cullen and Rosalie Hale, but Emmett and Rosalie Cullen, a fairly young couple settled happily in North Carolina. I was suddenly a kindergarten teacher with a passion for Chinese brush painting, Emmett a personal trainer at a nearby gym. Over the years, humans had progressed. It was the twenty-first century, and adoption was an open topic. We received calls from two dozen agencies, often concerning girls much like Bella – young, scared and lonely girls who had decided that they were much too young to raise a child.

It was through the twenty-sixth agency that we were put in contact with Emily Hamilton. She was fourteen and slender, with a head full of blonde curls and huge hazel eyes. She was also seven months pregnant with a baby girl. Emmett and I had fallen in love from the moment she smiled to reveal two dimples and a crooked front tooth. Tearful exchanges occurred between the three of us as I told tales of my childhood (omitting the fact that said childhood had occurred eighty-five years before) and Emily spoke of her father's face when she told him she was pregnant and his fists when he disowned her and left her in the street. I was about ready to adopt both her and the baby by the time she went into labor in May.

Seraphina Emily Cullen was born on May 3rd, 2003, and lived for three and half hours before succumbing to weak, underdeveloped lungs. Emily disappeared from our lives shortly afterward. Her father accepted her back into the family with open arms. Emmett and I moved back to Forks, where Esme coddled me like an infant and Carlisle, Edward and Jasper furrowed their brows with reckless abandon. Emmett was Emmett, which was part of the reason I had fallen in love with him in the first place. He was a sure thing, always stable and calm. He knew what to do when I didn't.

_Tell me what to do, Emmett. _

"Rose?"

My eyes snapped toward the sound. Bella was sitting up, staring at my pained expression in alarm.

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

"Not really. Not yet." Venom snared through even the most innocent of my words.

_I hope you're happy Edward_.

"Carlisle needs to run some tests. To find out more about the baby, about what might go wrong. About what already has gone wrong."

There was a moment of indecision, a few fragile seconds when I truly believed she would ignore me entirely.

"Rose, I…." Her head was bowed. A silent surrender. "I'll do it. Whatever you need."

**Author's Note: And there you have it – the end of Chapter 11. I hoped that helped to shed some light on Rosalie's character, and why she acts the way she does. As always, read and review.**

**R**


	13. Permanent

**Author's Note: Yes, it's late and I suck. Moving on – quite a jump in this chapter. Have faith, I will explain all. Also, go easy on Rose and Edward in this chapter. They're going through a bit of a rough patch. ****And, not to pimp my own story, but I started a Vampire Diaries fanfic that I was scared to death to actually post, and it would be lovely to get some input! Here we go.**

**Oh, and before I forget – I changed my penname…ViolaBuddies was getting a little old. I'm now ADamagedRose – I know, deep, right? Now shoo, go read!**

**Chapter 12: Permanent**

**Edward P.O.V.**

"Tell me what I can do, Bella."

In the days that had passed since Bella's agreement to Rosalie's conditions, she had withered away to a tiny shell while I watched, completely helpless. Bruises, dark and violet, consumed her body, staining the chalk-white skin of her rounded stomach. She wasn't eating; everything she swallowed came back up in violent heaves that only weakened her further.

She shook her head. "You can't help," Bella choked out between gasps for air. Her hand rested on the gentle swell of her abdomen.

"Carlisle will figure this out." I struggled not to inhale as I brushed her hair off of her forehead. I stroked the soft curve of her cheek and looked her directly in the eye. "I promise you, you will survive this."

"No." She coughed then, and an infinitesimal drop of her blood landed on the white sheets.

Time stopped and my world tilted on its axis.

There was nothing quite so sweet or rich as the smell of her blood. My teeth ached with need, and I could hear Bella's worried voice as though through a funnel. I could taste it on my tongue; stark in contrast with all the animal blood I had forced down my throat in past decades.

I paused for a fragile second of time, to consider what it would mean to taste that forbidden elixir, the only drink in the world that would quench the ever-increasing thirst.

And then I sank my teeth into her neck and drank.

In the back of my mind I was aware as strong arms tugged me away from my prey, as Bella's heart monitor beeped franticly and then stopped entirely…as strangled screams erupted from Bella's throat as my venom made its way through her veins.

But all I was directly aware of was that I was fighting against those arms around my chest, clawing at the hands that held me away from the best thing that had ever happened to me.

* * *

**Rosalie P.O.V.**

I could not move; I could barely breathe. After decades of hoping, of unshed tears and strangled cries, my child, my _daughter_ was in my arms. Gently, I lifted my fingers to her cheek and then traced her delicate features. Her soft skin was flushed with color, a lovely pink that stained her cheeks. And oh, God, was she beautiful. Her eyes were the most beautiful shade of gold, flecked with a deep forest green. As I watched her she stirred, her small mouth opening in a yawn.

I pressed my cheek against her chest, listening to her heartbeat, quick and light as a hummingbird.

And then I cradled her tightly and swayed, singing to her as my mother never had with me, desperate to somehow block out the incessant sound of Bella's cries.

* * *

**Emmett P.O.V.**

"That's your mother, Daph." I leaned in close to Bella, still in the throes of the change, but no longer shrieking like a banshee.

"Your momma didn't want me to do this but Bells is gonna be around for a while." I grinned down at Daphne, whose eyes were open wide with curiosity. "Baby girl, you're the prettiest creature I've ever seen. Next to your momma, of course."

I shifted Daphne to my other arm and sat down beside Bella's shivering form. "You know what, Bella? I'm glad you're going to be around. Rose'll castrate me if she hears me say it but it's the truth."

"She can't hear you," Carlisle said from the doorway. "Jasper's been doing his best to keep her drowsy. I'm hoping that she can't feel much of anything at this point."

Nodding, I carried Daphne with me to stand next to Carlisle. "Rose's going to have a hard time dealing with this."

Carlisle sighed, rubbing at his forehead. "There's nothing that can be done. Bella would have died from the birth itself. Edward….well, we skipped a few steps." He glanced at me. "Where is Rosalie?"

"Alice made her go hunting with Edward. Er, she more tricked her into going hunting with Edward, but still."

He swallowed and gestured to Daphne, now sleeping peacefully in my arms. "May I?"

I eased her into his open embrace. "She's something, isn't she?"

Carlisle seemed to be stunned into silence. His mouth opened slightly and then broke out into a smile. "She's everything."

He rocked her gently and then paused, his brows furrowing in concentration. "It's amazing, Emmett. She – "

"Daphne," I interjected.

"_Daphne_ is….the product of such an unusual genetic background. You'd think she'd crazed for blood or….screaming like a newborn human infant. She's a vampire-human child, but she sleeps soundly. She was carried in her mother's womb for a mere three and half weeks, but her hair is thick and shoulder-length and her eyes are not that of any newborn's I've ever seen."

Carlisle stared at her and then glanced at me. "Why Daphne?"

"It was Bella, actually. In the early stages – you know, the first hour or so – and Edward wouldn't leave her side, he just kept apologizing again and again and totally brooding – well, she was delirious and just kept moaning about a laurel tree. About – "

"Daphne the nymph, who begged her father to help her escape Apollo's advances and turned into a laurel tree." Carlisle exhaled deeply. "That's incredible, that she was able to get that out even amidst the change…"

"Carlisle?"

He looked up, his mythologic rant interrupted.

"What's going to happen now? Bella will vamp out in less than two days. She'll be a permanent fixture in our lives. And God – what about Rose and Daphne? Rose wants to be a mom so damn bad. You can't even imagine. If Bella decides she wants her rights back…"

I took a deep breath. "It'll destroy her, Carlisle."

* * *

_**Twenty-four Hours Before**_

**Rosalie P.O.V.**

"If you look closely here and here," Carlisle gestured to the blurry picture on the ultrasound that sparked our original fears. "You see how dark it is? It's strong, and my machinery can't get a clear image."

I stilled. "How strong?"

"Too strong." He looked at me and sighed, placing his notes on the desk beside him. "It's vampiric, Rosalie. The placenta is stronger than the mother that holds it...I don't know how to deliver this child without harming Bella, perhaps fatally."

"The bruises..." Merely hours before, Bella had woken to discover that she was covered in them. She insisted that they didn't hurt, but I could see the pain in her eyes, the forced nature of every reassuring smile.

Carlisle nodded. "It is likely that the internal bleeding is caused by the baby, when it kicks. In human cases, the fetus kicking is completely normal, even celebratory. Every time Bella's child kicks her, he or she bursts blood vessels."

My visions of Verity before brought the next question out of my mouth: "Will she be like us? Will she even live?"

"The baby will live, Rose. My worry is that it will kill Bella as it claws its way into this world." He shut off the ultrasound monitor. "Is that a sacrifice you're willing to make?"

I wanted, at that point, to say so many things. That I wasn't willing to make that sacrifice, but that I would, if it meant I would be a mother. Instead, I crumbled. Tears rose to my eyes and caught in my throat.

And I turned from Carlisle and his worries without another word.

I went to Jasper.

He understood what it was like to be so broken, so hollow inside that you can't even recognize yourself in the mirror. He was damaged on the outside, covered in scars that would never let him forget the hurt he'd suffered, and I was damaged on the inside. My pride had been stolen, and with it, my beauty as I had known it. Emmett was my soul mate. He held me together in my darkest moments. Jasper didn't hold me together, he didn't make me feel worse or better, he simply sat with me. He was the only person in the world I trusted with my anger, with my sadness, with my humanity. He never manipulated my emotions, not the way he did with the others. He knew me, knew that sometimes I needed to cry or scream or break something just to feel real.

"I don't know what to do." I hovered in the doorway and waited for him to invite me in.

He did so, with a small gesture. "Come here, darlin'."

Jasper pushed over a small pile of books, making room for me to sit down across from him. His library was messy and crowded, and it made me cringe. That is, until I needed him. Then it was a sanctuary, a small reprieve from all else that was going on in our world.

I crossed my legs. And folded my arms. And then I faced his questioning gaze. "I didn't want this, Jasper."

He felt the emotions that broke my voice and drew me into his arms.

"I didn't want any of it," I repeated, shaking my head.

He kissed my hair and stroked my cheek, as if to brush away tears. "I know, baby doll. I know."

* * *

**_Present Day_**

**Edward P.O.V.**

It was the endless cries of an infant that woke me. Covered in Bella's blood, I lay fully clothed in then shower with icy water raining down and soaking my face like tears. I scrubbed the last remnants of her blood off of my face and watched it disappear down the drain. Then I ripped open the curtain to come face to face with Alice.

She was sitting in the corner of the bathroom with her arms around her tiny frame, hugging her knees to her chest. Her eyes lifted to meet mine, sad and dark cast.

_It's over, Edward. It's over._

And with those words came a constant stream of images: Bella, eyes clenched shut, and her screams; Rosalie's face clear with startled wonder as she cradled a small creature to her chest and the wails stopped – and then the future emerged.

"_Come on, chase me!"_

_A beautiful little girl in a white sundress tugged at Bella's hand. She ran, barefoot, into the forest, looking back every few seconds to make sure Bella would follow. The child seemed to go on forever as her hair streamed out in ribbons behind her. Sunlight glimmered through the trees and glimmered against the girl's white skin._

_She giggled in delight when Bella's arms came around in her in a tight embrace._

"_I love you, my little hummingbird." Bella kissed her daughter's forehead._

"_I love you too, Auntie Bella."_

_

* * *

_

**Author's Note: Didn't see any of this coming, did ya? I'll try to post soon, no promises, though. Next chapter will most likely go further into depth about Daphne and Rose and Bella, as she wakes. Don't forget to check out my Vampire Diaries story, **_**So the Darkness I Became**_**. First Vampire Diaries story, first rated M story, first third person story….you get the idea. **

**As always, review!**

**Love,**

**Rose**


	14. Autumn

**Author's Note: Here it is. Don't judge anybody too harshly. Vampire Bella's very confused.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 13: Autumn**

**Bella's P.O.V.**

Darkness. Its depth shocked me into silence as the pain wailed its final cadence and left me limp. My eyes fluttered open in wonder; after hours of fire, of tours down into the lowest part of hell, I was free. My limbs felt as though they had been coated in gleaming particles of energy; I, in all of my clumsy glory, wanted nothing more than to rise to my feet and dance.

"She's coming out of it, Carlisle."

I recognized that voice, though not the name of the person to which it was directed. Warm to my ears, it filled me with a sense of affection, and yet also a growing fear. Panic rose in my veins, chilled my blood to ice.

A baby's cry was heard then, followed by the heavy thunder of footsteps. Whomever they belonged to was tall and sturdy.

"Is she all right?" This voice was lighter, softer. A woman. Her tone was taut with worry, and something else…something she didn't want anyone else to hear.

"Yes." A father, now. Maybe this was Carlisle. His own voice rang with pride. "Any moment now."

And then silence. The baby was being rocked. I could hear every motion as air whooshed back and forth like a pendulum around the small child.

Finally, I pushed myself up and against the mounds of pillows stacked behind me. I took in the owners of the voices I had just heard: a tall man, radiating sunlight, his golden eyes anxious and yet fiercely joyous; another man behind him, younger, with dark hair and a wide grin. Beside him a beautiful woman stood, her eyes drawn away from me and locked on the sleeping child in his arms.

I noticed, immediately, two things:

The first man to have spoken, the one whom I most desired to see, had left the room some time before.

Also that these strangers all smelled of lilacs and dusk. All – except the creature whose eyes had found mine. Those eyes were round in wonder, and gleamed with an innocence so pure I felt as though I were destroying it simply by being a witness to it. No, this small person smelled of cherry blossoms, of time and laughter. Of the sweetest tune hummed during a tragic storm.

"Bella!" The blond man, the father, was calling to me. It would have appeared that I had been ignoring him for some time.

"What?" I snapped. A newfound rage swelled within me. Spurred on by what, I could not say, but it was powerful.

"Jasper."

That one word acted as all the invocation this "Jasper" seemed to have needed. I was met with the presence of a scarred demon and his thrall, a small girl with short hair and delicate features.

Jasper knelt before me with some trepidation, his eyes regarding me seriously. "Bella. Do you know who I am?"

"You're Jasper," I responded. I inhaled and then swallowed back the sickly sweet taste of doubt. Of fear.

He smiled, but its effect was muted by his hesitation. "Yes. Good. This is Carlisle."

He gestured to the blond man.

"Do you know who this is?"

Now he pointed to the woman whose attention was captured completely by the child. She didn't look up.

I shook my head, and for the first time felt a wave of concern wash over me. There was something important I was forgetting. Something monumental.

"Why don't I remember?" I whispered, half to Jasper, to all of these foreign creatures, and half to myself.

Jasper seemed to have been put at ease by my question, for his tight smile faded and his eyes warmed with sympathy.

"You're a vampire now, Bella. It – "

_Vampire. _The wall in my skull felt its first crack. Memories, rich as dark chocolate and heady as rum, flooded my crowded mind.

" – will all come back with time."

_**Day Thirteen**_

Nearly two weeks had passed since my awakening, and the mysterious figure known in my head as Edward Cullen had yet to make an appearance. My memories had been coming back, like Jasper had said they would, in stages. The most familiar to me was Rosalie, the lovely young woman who at the moment acted less than lovely towards me. I remembered her stubbornness, as well as her rage, which even in my last human moments had been speared at me.

Emmett was another I could place quite easily. He was the one with whom I hunted. I trusted him the most, simply because he was the kindest. He told me without any doubt that "Rosie" would come around – that all she needed was a couple more days.

Jasper's scars were misleading; he was a nuisance at the most. For the first three days he refused to leave my side, yammering in my ear about the dangers of vampirism, about my having to reign in all the emotions fighting for dominance in my head. I blocked him out a lot of the time. He meant well, but still.

His wife, Alice, had kept her distance thus far. I think Jasper had to superglue her pixie behind to a chair to ensure this, but I was still grateful.

Esme, though not present for my first awakening, I also trusted. My human memories of her were scarce at best, but she was the only Cullen who, when first faced with Vampire Bella, broke down and cried before wrapping her arms around me in a suffocating embrace. As Vampire Bella, this was slightly uncomfortable, and said vampire senses were itching to throw her across the room, but I appreciated the gesture. I genuinely liked Esme.

The same could not be said for her son.

My maker, sire, creator…whatever I wanted to call him – he had disappeared as soon as I'd opened my eyes. And it stung, cut me deep.

I spewed my hatred for a few days after my awakening, until I realized that my life was probably better without him in it.

After all, he turned me into a bloodsucking, hormonal, socially awkward monster. How good a person could he be?

_**Day Thirty Two**_

"Her name is Daphne." Rosalie faced me cautiously, holding my daughter in her arms.

The Cullens had told me she was mine just days earlier, and the human within me was already wailing.

The vampire wasn't so upset.

I reached out with a slow hand and touched Daphne's cheek. Warmth glowed beneath my fingertips and she graced me with a small smile, before blushing brightly and turning her head away shyly.

Human Bella swallowed. "She's lovely, Rose. Really lovely."

Rosalie nodded and kissed Daphne's hair. "I know. I'm lucky, Bella. I…I owe you everything."

Human Bella fled the room to throw herself on her bed and cry.

Vampire Bella surveyed the scene with mild interest.

_**Day Fifty Six**_

"Wanna play me?" Daphne shoved a chess board in my face. "Daddy taught me how. He says I'm real good."

She didn't wait for my reply, simply grabbed the coveted white pieces and arranged them carefully on her side of the board.

"White has first move!"

I shot a pleading glance at Emmett, who watched from the other side of the room with great amusement.

"You never should've taught her this stupid game," I hissed under my breath. Sighing deeply, I set up my black pieces.

Daphne moved her knight forward and smirked.

Christ.

My pawn crept up two spaces. "How many games have you won against your dad?"

That damn smirk again. "Thirty five and a half."

She leaned in close and whispered, "He threw the board at the wall during our last one before I could beat him."

Her last words were accompanied by an evil pout.

Emmett laughed. "You don't stand a chance, Bells."

And I didn't. Five moves later my king made his final move before surrendering.

_**Day Fifty Seven**_

Edward Cullen, sire extraordinaire, was taller than I had imagined. He was also significantly more attractive than someone so hateful had a right to be. He made things complicated, from the moment he stepped into the door and fell to his knees before me, begging my forgiveness.

Daphne loved him already. That much was obvious. She threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"You came back! Aunt Alice said you would, but Mama said no, but I always trust Aunt Alice!"

The look on his face was hilarious. He stared down at her, at her long curls and her sparkling teeth, and her seven year old mind.

"Oh, oops – sorry." She sank into a curtsy. "Daphne Isabella Cullen, pleased to make your acquaintance."

Rosalie smiled from the doorway. "She thinks she's from a different time period. Daph, come on, lets give Edward and Auntie Bella some time to talk."

"Nice to meet you, Daphne Isabella." Edward kissed her hand before Rose ushered her out. His eyes were soft.

And then it was just us. The cold maker and the cold creation.

He came before me and shook his head. "I…I am so sorry, Bella."

Damn Human Bella came out of the woodwork again. She was a weak little thing, and Vampire Bella regarded her with disdain.

She fell against him, her cheek rested on his shoulder as he stroked her hair in silent apology.

"I hate this, Edward. I hate it so fucking much."

His exhale was heavy with tears. "I know. I know."

He leaned into the crook of her neck. His lips pressed to the single crescent scar beneath her jaw.

"My heart breaks for you."

"Oh, Edward." Human Bella's throat constricted. "My heart breaks for _us_."

**Edward P.O.V.**

_**Day One**_

"You can't just leave!" Alice's eyes were wide.

"I just – I have to get away, Al. From everything." I held my head in my hands. "From Bella…from what I've done."

Guilt churned in the pit of my stomach.

Alice shook her head. "No. Bella needs you now…How would you feel if, after everything, Carlisle left _you_?"

I brushed off her logic. She had never turned anyone, had never screwed someone else's life into oblivion.

Bella's presence was everywhere – her scent, her blush, her smiles. I was suffocating here.

I headed for the door, pausing with my hand on the handle. "Do me a favor, Alice?"

She seemed close to falling apart. Her amber gaze glittered with grief.

"Tell her I'm sorry. In case…"

"In case you don't come back," Carlisle spoke from behind her. His voice was steady, bound by acceptance. He understood.

I closed my eyes, my back turned on the man I considered to be my father and the woman I loved like a sister.

And then I left.

_**Present Day**_

"She looks like you," I told her. "It's in her eyes."

Bella shrugged. "That's what Jasper says. We don't really talk about it much, though – her looking like me."

We sat outside, behind the house and underneath a tall tree. Gold and red leaves were pulled by the cold autumn wind, dancing in the nighttime air.

"She's yours." I gazed at her, wondering. "You know that, Bella. Rose is her mom, but Daphne is still a part of you."

She simply stared up at the moon, lapsed into silence.

"Sometimes I wish he'd come down and rescue me." She hugged her knees to her chest. "I know she's a part of me, Edward – I just don't feel it. I look at her…and – and all I see is him."

I followed her gaze – up and into the stars. She was utterly glorious beneath their light.

"I love him," Bella whispered. Her entire body trembled.

_I love you_.

And so the earth shattering realization fell upon me as the most beautiful creature in the world declared her love for another man.

**Author's Note: Hope all was clear here. Next chapter will be up as soon as I can manage it. Also - when Bella refers to herself in third person, this is because it is Vampire Bella observing Human Bella's actions...a little odd, I know, but I still think it's interesting.**

**Review!**

**Love,**

**Rose**


	15. Sacrifices

**Author's Note: So, yes, I am supposed to be uploading Part 2 of the Steven interludes. I started, and I think there's a strong possibility that it will be the next chapter, but when I really sat down to write, this is what came out. I think it's okay…but review as always with opinions.**

**Chapter 14: Sacrifices**

**Bella P.O.V.**

What happens to all of those sacrifices we make?

Are we stronger for them?

How had things strayed so far from the way they were supposed to be?

What was the point?

* * *

Daphne is, quite possibly, the smartest person in this house. I told Edward this while we made our way up the stairs. He was trying to teach me how to appear human when climbing stairs and walking across a room. Truthfully though, all I could think about was the fierce burning in the back of my throat. It had only been a day and a half since my last hunt, but I was already on edge.

Edward agreed immediately. "Of course she is."

He winked at Daphne, who watched us from an old armchair in the Cullens' living room.

"What makes me so smart?" she asked. Her tiny nose wrinkled in confusion.

Edward laughed. "You are the best chess player in the family."

It was true. After one lesson from Emmett and a few pointers from Carlisle, Daphne successfully won against every member of the Cullen household. Jasper had been utterly mystified.

Daphne flashed a deceitfully charming smile. "What else?"

I pretended to think. "Lemme see...Well, you also know all your times tables. Thats more than I can say for your Uncle Edward here."

Edward laughed again, a low rumble that set my dead heart a-flutter.

I straightened. "Um, I think I'm going to ask Emmett if he wants to go for a hunt."

Edward looked surprised, if not a little insulted. "I can go with you, Bella."

I started. "You don't have to-"

"I insist. Besides, Emmett is busy with Rosalie at the moment. I don't recommend interrupting."

Wincing at the mental image that brought, I sighed in defeat.

"What are you _talking_ about?" Daphne was wearing an adorably confused pout.

When Edward and I left, placing her in Carlisle's care, I heard her tug his sleeve and ask, "What are mommy and daddy doing? Why are they busy?"

* * *

Edward hunting was a sight to behold. His meal of choice: mountain lion.

I was less picky. Also less neat.

It had been awkward, to say the least. We had left for the nearby forest almost immediately. It seemed that he was as eager to hunt as I was. Driven by the same powerful need, we had stalked between the tall trees in silence.

As soon as he had run five long paces, it appeared that he had smelled something I hadn't and he took off after his newly discovered prey.

Softly, I followed, the idea of being alone in the woods less than enchanting. I felt like a lost little girl as I struggled to keep up, always, it seemed, one step behind.

If he sensed my presence it didn't seem to bother him. He continued to fly, his long legs striding effortlessly over fallen tree trunks and wet leaves. He ran with a grace I envied, with a beauty I craved. I wanted, as a young child does with a butterfly, to capture him, to hold him in the palm of my hand and touch impossibility.

He froze suddenly.

"Edward? What is it?"

"Mountain lion. Thirty miles east."

How did he do that? I was insanely jealous.

He glanced back and grinned. "Follow me."

And I did. I walked on air that evening. My strides were long and confident, and the wind kissed my hair as the color of the sky seeped into my veins.

I tasted midnight. I laughed darkness. And in front of me Edward ran while I chased him, a hazy shadow made clear in the quiet.

We paused after about twenty miles. Edward's eyes were blazing with a happiness I could barely recognize. He seemed so happy, so carefree. For the first time, I realized, he looked seventeen.

"I want to try something," he whispered.

Human Bella resisted the urge to jump up and down. Vampire Bella felt slightly uncomfortable.

Edward placed his cool palms against my cheeks. He leaned his forehead into my own.

"Now close your eyes."

I did as I was told.

"Just breathe for me. Inhale. Feel the world around you." His fingertips brushed against my closed eyelids with a featherlight touch.

I inhaled. I visualized the forest around me: the trees with their outstretched branches, reaching for the moon; the cool sound of a nearby stream with water as delicate as glass, the smooth stones being shaped by the constant flow; and the animals, the ones I couldn't see - the ones I heard. My nose filled with a sudden influx of foreign scents.

Edwards's voice filtered through my overwhelmed consciousness. "Good. Now, is there anything...appealing? Something that urges you forward?"

There was. Far, but not unattainable, the strangely attractive scent curled around my limbs, pulling me towards it with a compelling force.

"You were right. East."

I opened my eyes.

Edward grinned. "Let's go then. What are we waiting for?"

He took off again, but this time we shared a destination, and we ran together side by side, two beautiful monsters.

As we reached the final mile, we were met with a pair of luminous yellow eyes, peering at us with great curiosity.

He was smart; he knew what we were. He could feel he power that hovered about us like a cloud, the dark need to hunt that made us equal, if not superior, to him.

Without warning the chase was on. I could not say who moved first. All I knew was that Edward was pouncing, very much like a mountain lion himself, and the curious lion before us suddenly feared for his life, taking off in a run.

He had had no chance. Edward crashed into him, forcing his great body to the ground and snapping his neck with ease. I watched, utterly captivated, as Edward lowered his mouth to his fallen prey.

The scent of blood came over me then, and when I regained control of my body, I too was crouched beside the dead beast. Warm and slick, blood stained my chin and neck, the rest settling pleasantly in my stomach.

The second thing I became aware of was the low growl coming from my own throat. Edward rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you still thirsty?"

I shook my head even though my throat still felt like sandpaper. I would go with Emmett again in the morning.

The whole ordeal was just too...intimate. Baring that part of me, witnessing that part of him...it was almost too much for me to take.

Because it wasn't something I has wanted to share with Edward, it had been something I had wanted to share Steven. I had wanted him to show me the ropes, to hold my hand and make me feel beautiful, even as I hunted. I had wanted to share forever with him.

And he had left me and his daughter behind.

* * *

I poked at the quivering mass of scrambled egg. Ew. How had I even tolerated this stuff as a human? Rosalie was desperate to get Daphne used to regular food. Daphne had other opinions.

"You're gonna make me eat that?"

"Not me," I reminded mutinously, "your mother."

She sighed. "Can't you just tell her I ate it and actually throw it away?"

"I heard that! The answer's no."

Daphne stuck her tongue out at her mother, who was upstairs with Alice deciding on color schemes.

"Ugh. It's so...gooey." She glared at the melted cheese oozing from the piles of egg. She shoved the plate towards me. "You try."

My stomach was already turning. "No way. I'd just have to cough it up later. We can't all digest such delicacies." I pushed the plate back.

Daphne let out a huff and grabbed the fork. She lifted a tiny helping of eggs to her mouth.

She chewed. Actually she chewed a couple times. Her tiny face screwed up; her eyes darted to the nearest trash can where she proceeded to throw away not just the eggs but the entire plate.

We glanced at each other for about two seconds. Then we collapsed into hysterical laughter.

* * *

It was the Cullens' fault. They were careless. If Edward or Esme or Carlisle or whomever's stupid idea this had been had wanted to keep this secret from me, Emmett should have stopped me the moment I turned on the news.

Because the moment I did, I was met with the top story of the night: the mysterious and tragic presumed death of one Isabella Swan.

* * *

It had been Edward's idea.

Carlisle hadn't had the balls to do it himself. So when Edward got back, he broke into my car and drove it off a cliff.

It was too cruel, Edward's reasoning had been, to let Charlie continue to hope for the safety of a daughter who would never return.

Vampire Bella was surprised. she had had no idea that Edward was capable of making such decisions.

Human Bella was distraught. Then she was furious.

"How could you do this?" I threw down the pages upon pages of news reports I had printed out, all describing Charlie's tireless search, his desperation. And then his defeat.

Edward looked apologetic, but not nearly remorseful enough. He approached me slowly. "Bella please. This was the only way. You have to understand. He was never going to stop searching; he was never going to accept the fact that you're gone!"

"I'm not gone! I'm fucking standing right here, in front of you, asking you what was going through your tiny brain when you faked my death!" I was near hysterics. God, how could I have let this happen? What was going to happen to Charlie? He couldn't even cook, for Christ's sake.

"Bella. You're never going home. You have to see that. You have to. Do him this kindness. I promise you, if you even call him...he'll never let go. And he has to." He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "_You_ have to."

My heart, or what was left of if, clenched. I collapsed into a chair. "I'll never see him again. And my mom? Oh my God, my mom."

Edward held his forehead in his hands. "I did you a favor. Soon enough you'll see that."

He stood up and as he passed me he paused for a moment. "I'm sorry."

* * *

Within six months everything I had ever wanted had been stolen from me. My boyfriend, my child, my parents. My life.

The thing was, I wasn't sure that I would ever see the favor Edward had allegedly done for me. All the confusing feelings I had been struggling with, all the tears I could no longer shed for Steven and the lifetime with him I should have had - it all just tore through me.

I hadn't realized until that moment, the sad truth I was faced with. When I had awoken a vampire, I was unable to see it. I flitted from day to day, from week to week, completely consumed by the thirst and the unbelievable flood of emotion that came with it. I had to stifle back a laugh at the thought that I couldn't have told anyone the date. The hours had melted together until time itself had has no meaning. Charlie...the vampire in me didn't even think of him or my mom. I felt colder than I had in the last six months. I wasn't human. I wasn't human.

And everyone I loved would crumble around me as I remained untouched by God and his cruel will.

I would be left entirely alone. All that would be left would be the ghosts of the people and dreams I had lost.

I had thought that retaining my humanity would be difficult but possible. Steven had made it seem so real to me, the idea that he could coexist with the humans around him. That if he tried hard enough he could convince himself that the oxygen he breathed was a necessity, that his heart still pounded in his chest.

And I had wanted it. Forever and always, I had told him and I had meant it with every fiber of my being. But I had had no true grasp of the sacrifice I was making, of the things I was giving up. The fact that my daughter didn't call me mom. The fact that Steven was gone and never coming back. My own mom. My father.

What happens to all of those sacrifices we make? Are we stronger for them? What was the point of meeting Steven, of loving him, of carrying his child, if he would never walk me down the aisle? If he would never hear Daphne call him daddy, if he would never see her grow up?

I sure as he'll didn't feel stronger. I felt weak. I felt pathetic. All those years I had suffered, feeling cornered, trapped in my own skin - how could fate have dealt a hand that ensured that the moment I understood what it meant to be happy, to be in love, it would be taken away the next instant? How had things strayed so far from the way they were supposed to be?

A little girl didn't fall to sleep picturing monsters who love. No one cares about the dragon who cries, about the evil queen who misses her husband when he's off at war. About the foolish girl who had only wanted a forever of beauty and had been faced with an empty eternity. About the girl who wasn't even a girl anymore, but wished more than anything that she could be, that nature would bend to her will.

The little girl's dream is one of lilies and roses and baby's breath and kisses bestowed upon her princess mouth before an audience of beaming friends and family.

What horrible sin had I committed that had deemed me unfit for such a dream? Who was Edward to take my humanity, my ability to die to live to breathe? Who was Steven to set my future in such unforgiving stone? And who was I, avoiding my pain like a child and casting blame far from me and my fragile skin and my dreams that sang to me still, even in this place?

I hated God. I hated Edward. I hated Steven.

I hated myself.

* * *

**As always, please review...lack of response makes me antsy. Constructive criticism is welcomed.**

**R**


	16. Part 2: Windows

**A/N: Told you guys this would be the next chapter. I apologize if it's a little disjointed...my thoughts on this and on if this was really how I wanted to go with SLML were all over the place. Ultimately, though, Steven's character just kind of spilled forth, as well as Sara's, that of his vampire lover, the mysterious violet-eyed woman who turned him all those years ago. Curious plot twist planned for Part 3, which will come a few chapters later and will conclude the trilogy of interludes. **

**Just a warning - Steven gets a little darker in this chapter.  
**

**Part 2: Windows**

The storm raged and Bella raged right along with it. Her face was contorted in fear and discomfort, and even from my safe distance away I could see the tear tracks that glittered on her cheek bones, still wet.

Aro's warning threatened to crush my bones to dust. And as I stood outside Bella's bedroom window, I found myself begging to a God for the first time in centuries.

_Anything_, I bargained. _Anything to let me keep her._

Bella turned onto her side. She mumbled incoherently, deep in sleep and sorrow.

In my head, Aro scratched his chin, curious. _Just turn her, Steven. It is a matter of such little importance when viewed in contrast to the possibility of living without her…isn't it?_

I shook the thought and all of its rationality out of my mind, forcing back images of a past I was desperate to forget.

I hadn't noticed the similarity until I had finally told Bella what I was, and she'd slapped me right across the face for the _lies_, of all things. The fierceness in her gaze would have stopped my heart should I have been human. And in that moment she could have been her, she could have been Sara Anderson in all of her frightening glory. The brown of Bella's eyes flashed violet in a haze of remembrance before I had pushed the comparison away.

Thinking of Sara now caused guilt to curl in my chest. After everything she had done, after all the years of a romance that left me broken and bleeding, the hold she still had over me was enough to make me sick to my stomach.

* * *

"_Humans are all so…peculiar." Sara leaned against me, her hair twisted into a messy bun and her strange eyes glowing in the lamplight._

_I rolled my eyes. "You observe them with such amusement; sometimes I think you forget that you were one at a certain point."_

_She rolled onto her stomach, her legs tangling with mine beneath the hotel sheets. "I don't forget. I just take no pleasure in remembering. The gift of being a vampire was all that I wanted when I was human…I was consumed by the possibilities even when there were none. Why should I dwell on such a time?"_

_Shrugging, I lowered my mouth to her shoulder, layering kisses on her snowy expanse of skin. "Why not?"_

_Sara laughed then. She brushed an unruly strand of hair out of my eyes. "Oh, Steven. I don't know how I survived so long without you. You never cease to make me smile."_

_And I offered one to her immediately, drew my lips into a soft grin. The poison of her words was not known to me then, but I felt the doubt it spread, flowing through my veins. _

_Toxic._

* * *

"Steven. Please." Bella tossed and turned. Her long dark curls a gaping shadow on her white pillow.

I pressed my palm against the glass. It was incredible how much space something transparent could put between us.

So many years of my life I had spent alone, wandering from state to state, from life to life. I borrowed identities, stole birthdates, experiences, names. It was a risky game, but I was the best there was at playing it.

No one ever recognized my face.

I was unseen.

The second I put down roots with Bella, Aro got interested.

And I got visible.

* * *

"_She's cute, no?" Sara winked at me, gesturing to the corner of the bar. _

_The girl couldn't have been more than seventeen; her dark eyes were curious and unsure. She smiled uneasily and tugged on her friend's sleeve._

"_She's beautiful," I murmured, "but I'm not interested."_

_Sara frowned. "Come on, Steven. I'm bored." She sat herself down in my lap, straddling me in the bar stool. "You're hungry. Don't fight it so much, sweetheart."_

_I swallowed hard. The dull burn in the back of my throat worsened. "If you're bored we can leave. I know you've always wanted to see Paris."_

_She rolled her eyes, those enchanting, unnatural violet eyes that had drawn me to her like a moth to a flame over fifty years before. "We can see Paris tomorrow. _Tonight_ I want to see you, me, and blondie have a good time. Is that so bad?"_

_She could tell the moment I gave in. "Go get 'em, tiger."_

_I eased her off my lap and made my away across the bar. As I approached her, the girl looked up, almost hopeful. Her friend nudged her forward._

"_Hey."_

_She looked up at me through her mascaraed lashes. "Hi."_

"_You look…really pretty." I shifted from foot to foot, trying to appear nervous._

_Her laughter was light and delicate, like a dragonfly's wings. "Thanks. I'm Rachel."_

"_Oh, right. Sorry – I'm Steven."_

"_It's nice to meet you," she said softly. _

_I sat down beside her and inclined my head toward the bartender. "Can I buy you a drink?"_

_The girl was dead by sunrise._

* * *

I left Sara when I could no longer look at her and see any trace of the woman I had thought I'd loved. It took me nearly one hundred and fifty years. And I realized then that that was another lesson she taught me: we are all blinded by love.

When I met Bella, there was nothing about her that I didn't find myself drawn to. She was my opposite; she was Sara's opposite. With her I tried to change. For her.

Her very soul was good hearted. She loved her father, her mother, even her mother's boyfriend. It was extraordinary to me at the time. For whatever the reason, she wanted to know me. She was curious about the silent boy.

I fell in love with her simplicity. Her naïveté. I wanted her. And I wanted her forever, no matter what she believed. Her only flaw was her doubt in my absolute devotion. She took my secrets as betrayal, my distance as an insult. She thought I didn't love her enough to change her. She refused to see any other possibility.

When it all came down to it, my worst crime against her had been loving her too much.

I couldn't turn her. Every day I would regret walking up to Sara and shaking her hand. With that one smile, that one hello, I had cut the course of my human life short. I was only nineteen years old. I hadn't seen the world. I lived in a universe the size of my palm. Sara shook my hand that day, and she sank her claws into my soul.

She taught me to kill. She taught me to lie. She broke whatever there was inside me that was pure. And I hadn't seen it until it was too late.

How could I do that to Bella?

It could have been weeks that I sat outside Bella's window. The tree easily supported my weight. I committed each leaf to memory; I didn't want anything to slip my mind. I wanted to keep the moments. But even vampires can't grasp time in their hands. I could cheat death, but only I. I could remain nineteen forever, but I had lost more than I had ever gained. The only way to save Bella was to turn her, but I was already mourning her.

I mourned her. My stomach turned at the thought. I was grieving someone who lay not ten feet away.

* * *

_Sara lifted her mouth from the dead girl's throat. Her hair was stained with blood, her eyes a pure crimson. The blue contacts had dissolved. She smiled, baring red teeth. "This is who you loved," she said, and she rose to her feet._

_My limbs ached to run forth, my own teeth sharp with need. I stared at the lifeless girl. "No."_

_Sara lay her head on my shoulder. Her fingers twined with mine. "Yes. This is who I am. I won't change. I won't pretend. Take it or leave it." She pressed an open mouthed kiss beneath my jaw and walked out the door of the hotel room._

_I trembled. The earth shifted and turned beneath my feet._

_And I followed her._

* * *

We become used to loneliness. Sara did. She had lived, she told me, hundreds of years on her own before she decided she wanted a companion. She promised me that I would forget the world I left behind when I left town.

She hadn't lied. My father's face was no longer anything but a blur; my mother a pale figure and a stroke of blonde hair.

You lose things. I lost things.

I lost.

* * *

Either way I decided I would have been stealing a part of her. Her future, her family. Her very breath.

How could I have known, I thought, that the last kiss was the last?

It was just another lie I told myself. Of course I knew. I always knew it would end. And I always knew it would end like this.

* * *

Sara and I had been making our way through Virginia when we met David and Emma. He was a vampire; she wasn't. They had crossed the final threshold. David was physically twenty five. Emma had just passed her twenty fifth birthday.

"They're doomed," Sara had told me later. "She isn't one of us. She doesn't want to be."

"She'll change her mind, I guess. Or he'll move on," I had said from my position by the hotel window. My eyes were narrowed, waiting for prey to make its way into a dark alley a couple blocks away. For the moment I turned to face her. "What's the big deal?"

Sara laughed and it was harsh and hollow. "She won't change her mind. And he won't move on."

She rose from the bed and came to stand beside me at the window. "They've already destroyed each other. He wants forever and she wants right now." Sara stared at me. Her eyes swam with a mystery I couldn't solve. "That's the problem with foolish girls who fall in love with vampires."

"What is?" I asked her. My gaze returned to the street below.

"One can fathom eternity. The other has yet to live a lifetime. There is a bridge between lovers, Steven, built on trust and shared experience and conversation and understanding, and theirs was broken the moment they began. A story such as theirs only ends one way."

At that moment David and Emma exited the hotel. Emma put her arms around David's waist. They looked happy, I thought.

Sara shook her head and sighed. "It's like watching an accident about to happen." She walked back to the bed. "Let's stay in town a little longer."

I had just nodded my acquiescence, no longer interested in anything other than the redhead approaching the alley.

* * *

Six weeks later David was dead.

Of all the things I remembered, his funeral was strangely not among them.

I remembered Emma's tears. I remembered the rain. And I remembered Sara's knowing expression, and the way it twisted her features into something that almost resembled sympathy.

* * *

She had been right.

_An accident about to happen._

Except I was the one who couldn't give forever and Bella was the one who wanted it.

The bridge had been broken. We had come together to find it burned. Sara had said it. _They're doomed._

And yet I felt as though it had been me, all along, who had been the one to throw the match.

How much longer could fate be blamed for my actions?

* * *

I ran. Because I was a coward, I ran.

I thought that it was my intention to turn back.

I clung to it still, as Jane tore through me with her words. Her poison

I was going to turn back. I was going to return to Bella.

I was going to change her, I was telling Jane. I was telling myself.

I was going to turn back.

Wasn't I?

* * *

_We sat at a lab table in the now empty Biology room. It was a project, I kept telling myself. Nothing more. I leaned across the clean notebook page before us and scribbled down the name of our report: an inspiring Lack of Sunlight's Effect on Plants._

_"There," I said. "We've got a good start."_

_Bella rolled her eyes, but I saw her mouth turn up at the corners. "I was thinking that we could..."_

_She continued and I tuned out, my interest hopelessly captured by the youthfulness that colored her every word. She was a fifteen year old girl excited about growing different plants in her basement for Bio. Her gentle world seemed at once absurd and beautiful._

_Her eyes were lit with a passion I couldn't understand. It was a simple task, performing the experiment. Was this what humans were like in the twenty first century? Animated over the smallest of things?_

_Jealousy stirred within me. But beyond it, as though beyond a wistful sea, a delightful hum settled beneath my skin. For whatever reason, her excite3ment over such a fragment of the universe was lovely. My fingers itched to feel the blush rise to her cheeks, to stroke the one fly away strand of warm brown hair back behind the delicate curve of her ear. _

_"You really know your biology," I told her, once I had resisted the urge to just _touch _her, to feel her warmth against my cold._

_She turned her head away in embarrassment at my flattery, but her eyes were pleased. "So do you."_

_I did. But only because I had taken the course about seven times. "How do you know?" I asked her. The way her voice rang through me was enough to ask her all the questions in the world._

_She bit her lip, and finally - "I watch you work sometimes." _

_Her admission made my chest feel tight.  
_

_"I like you, Steven." Bella looked down at the table before locking gazes with me. Her eyes shone with a fierceness I wouldn't have expected from her. "I want to get to know you."  
_

_The birth of a tragedy._

_Poetry in motion._

__**A/N: As always, every review, every hit, every read is appreciated. Love, R.  
**


End file.
